A gathering of the National Organisation of Uncouth Morons

With the 13th General Elections a day closer with each sunrise, Malaysians are served with a nauseating fare of daily news by major electronic and print media agencies.

It seems that these days, Malaysian lives revolve around that annual gathering of rabid humans in Putra World Trade Centre whose antics would put even simians to shame.

It’s a place where foul language is cheered upon. A place where religious bashing is commonplace. A place where pots and kettles gather to call others black.

It’s a place where one race reigns supreme, not unlike Hitler’s mantra. A place where seeds of hatred are sown, nurtured and watered. A place that reeks of corruption and hypocrisy.

A place where a backdoor minister is angry over dubious goings-on at her hubby’s business venture. A place where warlords of all sorts and sizes gather hoping to find perhaps a scrap in the form of electoral candidacy or senatorships or even cow-rearing projects! Talk about milking moo-lah till the cows come home ...

It’s a place where the gathered are led by a deputy prime minister who is a Malaysian last. A place where a deputy minister accuses a political party of being agents of Christianisation.

A place where the president-cum-PM is a two-faced chameleon in human guise. A PM who espouses a global movement of moderates yet remains silent in suppressing rabid extremism amongst his party comrades.

It is also a place where the average Malaysian see the normally loud, obnoxious, opiniated leaders of the minor parties in the coalition sitting impassively, almost disinterested at the charged up proceedings.

It’s interesting to note the “Mr Nice Guy” and “Mr Cheated on My Wife and Got Caught With Pants Off” presidents of two components parties keeping their zip (not pants) shut despite the obvious racial and religious bigotry on show. If they should ever contemplate an alternative career, I’m sure co-authoring “An Idiot’s Guide to Being A Yes Man” would set them up for life.

Umno is not at a political crossroads. It’s facing execution and with it annihilation in the next GE. What the leaders are trying to do lately is akin to trying to gain a last-second reprieve from the powers-to-be for them to live, to fight another day.

I happened to catch the animated movie “A Bug’s Life” recently. For the uninitiated, it revolves around an ant named Flik who tries hard to fight off a bunch of grasshoppers.

Now these grasshoppers, they’re bullies. They take what they want from the ants without regard, not unlike a government that steals from its people to line its own pocket.

Now, as with most movies, it had a happy ending. Flik makes the colony realise that despite their smaller size, they have the numbers. Needless to say, the grasshoppers get their comeuppance with their leader getting a good blast up the backside.

The people, citizens of Malaysia, must realise that the power is in their hands. You and me, we decide who leads the country and in which direction it is to be led towards.

The time for reckoning is close at hand. The time has come for Malaysians to say enough is enough. It is time to show them political simians that we are the arbiters of our nation’s destiny.

Until then, I’m just going to ignore the gathering of the deluded cult comforted in the knowledge that the end is near.

Taken with a liberal dose of cynicism, it does make for a good laugh or two on a rainy, gloomy day, the antics of these idiots ...

[Source: David Martin/The MI]

Sharizat and cow hide

AND ALL TOGETHER NOW .....

With that, tomorrow is just another day, with business as usual *sigh*.

This is how I see UMNO delegates during the meetings of the Youth and Wanita Wings

Like a couple of school kids calling each other names over a dispute. Mind you, these are the people who are running our country. No wonder it is going to the dogs.

NFC fiasco: More worms coming out from the wood works?

After the 'cows and condos' fiasco, PKR today dropped another bombshell on the National Feedlot Corporation (NFC), claiming that it had squandered a portion of the RM250 million government loan on land, luxury cars and overseas trips.

PKR strategic director Rafizi Ramli (right) today said the company's financial documents had showed that NFC had transferred RM3,363,507 to its sister company National Meat and Livestock Corporation (NMLC) to purchase two plots of land in Putrajaya in December 2009.

"It is highly unlikely that the land bought in Putrajaya are intended for raring cows," quipped Rafizi, in reference to the two plots which are identified as PT1886 and PT1887.

The purchase through NMLC, Rafizi adds, is the same modus operandi adopted in the purchase of two luxury condominiums in Bangsar at RM6.9 million each and the company, unlike NFC, is wholly owned by Women, Family and Community Development Minister Shahrizat Abdul Jalil’s family.

He further revealed that through the same means, the company had purchased a luxury car Mercedes Benz CLS 350 CGI at RM534,622 on top of a monthly RM20,000 maintenance cost for the vehicle which is directly paid from NFC's account.

‘Gov’t has no control over NMLC’

PKR secretary-general Saifuddin Nasution, who was also present, said the government had no oversight over NMLC.

“NMLC is a private company. In NFC, the Finance Ministry has a golden share, so if anything happens the govnerment can come in and there are also board members from the government, but NMLC is 100 percent owned and ma

naged by them (Shahrizat’s family).”

Saifuddin added that he had earlier met with contractors hired for NFC who were not paid and were forced to sue the company.

“This is just tens of thousands, they cannot pay, but luxury cars worth half a million, they can pay,” he said, adding that the parcels of land purchased in Precinct 10 were in an area where

many embassies were located.

Rafizi also revealed that a CIMB Islamic Bank Berhad account (141640000066107) registered under NFC had paid a total of RM455,423 via 15 cheques to Impian Global Network Services (IGNS) between January and July.

“When we investigated, we found that this company offers tour packages,” he said while showing a printout of the company’s website which offers trips to Bandung, Singapore and Bali.

The claim was backed by the dates, amounts and

numbers of the cheques made to the company, with the largest single amount at RM120,521.

‘Don’t drag BN into personal scandal’

Rafizi also shot down Umno Youth chief Khairy Jamaluddin’s defence of NFC when PKR first claimed that the beef from NFC was only sold to Meatworks in Singapore.

“Khairy said we lied because trade with Singapore is banned. So if we cannot sell beef to Singapore, then why is it that on July 12, NFC transferred RM588,585 by telegraphic transfer directly to the account of Meatworks (Singa

pore) Pte Ltd?”

Acknowledging Shahrizat’s fiery speech at the Umno general assembly today, Rafizi insisted that she must explain these claims.

“She has to explain one by one all that has been exposed, if not to the rakyat then at least to Umno delegates because they, too, are the rakyat.”

He added that is Shahrizat continues to drag BN and Umno into her personal scandal it will spiral out of control.

Shahrizat, whose husband, Mohamad Salleh Ismail is executive chairperson of NFC, has repeatedly denied any involvement in the controversy.

[Source: Mkini]

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This is the car. The top of the range. The Mercedes Benz CLS 350 CGI.

If she also plans to deny the purchase of the vehicle, what Rafizi can do is to approach either Naza or Cycle&Carriage to obtain a copy of the document relating to the puchase. QED!

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT WHEN YOU PUT A MONKEY IN A ROOM FULL OF BANANAS. THEY JUST GO BERSERK!

Denial, denial, denial

Why can't this woman own up and allow the matter be laid to rest. Her continuous denials has certainly become overbearing and the more she does it, the more guilt will pile onto her. Remember what Muhyiddin said to Lim Guan Eng when the latter's 16-year old son was accused for something that did not take place , that denial was not enough? Well, Sharizat, the barrel is now pointing at you, so take heed from your boss, "Denial is not enough".

Read here on her latest denial.

Monday Humour

You will love this Indian cab driver.

A drunk woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi at a Papatoetoe Cab Rank.

The Indian driver opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the Cab.

"What's wrong with you Luv, haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

"I'll not be staring at you lady, I am telli! ng you, that would not be proper, where I am coming from..."

"Well, if you're not bloody staring at me Luvie, what are you doing then?"

"Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me with?!"

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These two Japanese blokes are really hilarious. So who needs to speak English in front of an English audience.

A terrible situation and an amazing solution - thinking out of the box

The phone rings. The lady of the house answers, "Yes?"

"Mrs. Ward, please."

"Speaking"

"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your Doctor sent your husband's samples to the lab, the samples from another Mr. Ward were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks.

"Well, one Mr. Ward has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease (related to memory) and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which your husband's is."

"That's terrible! Can we do the test over?" questions Mrs. Ward.

"Normally, yes. But Medicare won't pay for these expensive tests more than once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

Classroom Socialism

When the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Is this man truly a genius? Read the following and you know what, it is true...it DID happen!

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Yet another video from Nasi Lemak 2020. This time it is "Internal", er... correction "Corrupt Affairs"

This is a spoof from the Hong Kong "Internal Affairs" film starring Eric Tsang, Tony Leong and Andy Lau. Enjoy.

Sharing one liners with you

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cheque.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24] Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes..

[25] It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone,if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!