Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Let's face it. Our country is sick, very sick and may be terminally so


The world is agog with the 2012 Euro soccer championship fever and in slightly over a month’s time the Olympics 2012 fever is due.
In Malaysia, however, fever of a different kind is on the high, that too at an alarming rate – the fever of telling lies.
Mind you, the lies come from the mouth of none other than the country’s “captain” – Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak. And the lies are being told at breakneck speed all because of the impending 13th general election.
A shame that the ruling federal government has to resort to lies to safeguard its position in the coming general election, never mind if these lies harm the rakyat in the long run.
Lies like “all’s well” and “the Barisan Nasional is a government for all” leave you feeling nauseated. Time and again, in utter desperation, Najib, the Umno and BN chief, has verbally whipped the opposition Pakatan Rakyat for being impotent and failing to deliver as promised.
Well, Pakatan has only been in “business” since 2008 and is still “learning the ropes” while BN has been around post-independence and has yet to do good on its promise of uniting the people and maintaining harmony.
It was no serendipity but the April 28 riots that took place in the heart of Kuala Lumpur revealed the ugly truth – that unity is no longer the nation’s strength.
Had unity been revered, no former army personnel, burger sellers or pasar malam traders would have dared made life hell for a non-Malay who was the face behind the April 28 rally calling for clean and fair elections in the country.
Goodies galore
The hatred displayed against Bersih co-chairperson S Ambiga and the call for her citizenship to be revoked by the “extremist Malays” of this country, made it clear all is not well with this nation that turns 55 on Aug 31.
The warnings levelled at the non-Malays to kowtow to the “rightful heir” of this country remain an on-going battle and yet Najib and his band keep crying out loud that “all is well”. Is it really?
While the rakyat can keep guessing as to when the generel election will be held, they however need not wonder what is in store for them in the run-up to the polls, dubbed the nation’s most challenging election ever.
For now, it is “goodies” galore in the country, with the premier and his deputy Muhyiddin Yassin turning to the only weapon they have been using throughout their never-ending political career – that of bribery.
On June 16, Najib, in declaring open the RM30 million Sabah Handicraft Centre, said piped water supply may finally reach close to a quarter of a million people in the interior areas of Sabah.
A loan of RM235 million has been approved by the Rural and Regional Development Ministry for Sabah to build a water treatment plant and pipelines totalling over 52km, which would benefit about 200,539 people in the interior.
It took Najib four years to take the trouble to go to Keningau and deliver the “good” news. The sad truth is that the humble people living in the interiors of Sabah have always been taken for granted by the powers-that-be.
However, with the general election looming, what better way for the federal government to display its magnanimity than by playing “saviour” of these people?

‘Culprits’ remain free

Many such money-splurging acts are feverishly being carried out by BN, with the intention of misleading the rakyat into believing that the BN-administered federal government cares.
Try as hard as you can, it is impossible to give BN the benefit of the doubt, based on its far from impressive track record, post-2008. So many wrongdoings have taken place but has the federal government acted in a honourable way to correct the situation? No, on the contrary, the “culprits” are given a free rein to continue behaving as they wish.
The miscreants are none other than the Cabinet ministers themselves, having been politicians for ages.
BN’s domineering partner, Umno, had allegedly emptied the nation’s purse of RM12 billion, no thanks to the politicians who ran the Port Klang Free Zone. Then there was the RM250-million National Feedlot Corporation (NFC) scandal.
Billions of ringgit more have allegedly been siphoned off – be it through bribery, cronyism, bailouts, non-performing loans, overspending of taxpayers’ hard-earned money and even denuding the country’s precious forests for timber.
The RM976.7 million public fund given to concessionaire Maju Holdings in the controversial sale of Kuala Lumpur-Putrajaya Highway (MEX) to EP Manufacturing Bhd is as good as gone.
A 2009 High Court order to former Malaysia Airlines chairman Tajudin Ramli to pay up the RM589 million owed to Danaharta has conveniently gone unheeded.
Above all, it is the plundering of the national oil company, Petronas, that takes the cake. Since its inception in 1974, Petronas had allocated RM431 billion to the government.
Of that amount, RM236 billion was given to the government between 2006 and 2009, during the premiership of Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. Was the massive sum successfully utilised to generate new sources of income?
Until today, this little secret stays hidden in the hearts of a few Umno leaders, who know the answer as to where and how the funds were used.
Over a decade, Malaysia has lost a whopping RM1.08 trillion (US$338 billion) in illicit outflows – the fourth highest in the developing world.

Stop the greed for money, power
Until and unless Umno in particular cleans up its act, there will be no takers for Najib’s rhetoric that “all’s well” in the country.
In June 2005, former deputy prime minister and Umno deputy president, Ghafar Baba, had lamented that money politics involved in Umno elections for a supreme council post was not a mere RM1,000 or RM2,000 or RM1 million or RM2 million; it ranged from RM10 million to RM50 million!
Has anything changed since then? Hardly.
The people remember too well how former Negeri Sembilan menteri besar Isa Samad was suspended from Umno and his ministerial post in 2005 because of money politics.
This sandiwara or drama to bluff the people paid off handsomely for Isa who, after three short years, revived his political career after winning his state seat during a by-election at Bagan Pinang, Negeri Sembilan.
Having clinched the state seat, Isa was then made chairman of Felda, which, despite wide objections, was listed on the Bursa Malaysia Main Board as Felda Global Ventures.
Also indulging in money politics were Malacca Chief Minister Ali Rustam and Umno Youth chief Khairy Jamaluddin, but unlike Isa, this duo was let off with a warning, with their Umno positions remaining intact.
Then there was Deputy Finance Minister Awang Adek Hussein who admitted to having received a regular “cash donation” to support his branch activities, the amount credited into his personal bank account.
Awang Adek claimed there was nothing criminal in doing so and offered to show proof that the money was used for the branch activities. But why did he have to use his personal account if it was “nothing personal”?
Also in the news is Muhyiddin. Last year, when asked about the alleged corruption involving his aide, he said he was looking into the case and would act accordingly.
Has there been any news about this from Muhyiddin? Or, for that matter, why did he refuse to follow procedures and report the matter to the authorities?
Unfortunately, Teoh Beng Hock was not as “lucky”. For a mere RM2,000, this aide to a DAP politician was harassed and intimidated by the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission on July 15, 2009, at its 14th floor office in Plaza Masalam in Shah Alam. His ending – Teoh was found dead the next day, sprawled on the building’s fifth floor rooftop.
Is all “really well” in Malaysia, Mr Prime Minister?
[Source: FMT]

Monday, June 25, 2012

Monday Humour

Economics explained



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SENIORS & THE COMPUTER

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.

I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? 
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,

'An, ID ten T error?  What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Eric grinned ... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?

'No,' I replied.

'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down:

ID10T

I used to like Eric, the little shit head.
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THE FIRST DATE

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. 
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
  
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte!! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and  indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance!  He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.  
  
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from  the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
    As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants  down'.. And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment...   'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
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ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA.
RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSAL' ADVERTISEMENT!
MARRIAGE PROPOSAL REPLY IN PUNJABI ENGLISH

(DON'T LAUGH; DEAD SERIOUS)


Madam : 

I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Lahore . Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely and easily. 

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab . I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my balls because they bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy and I am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking cigarettes or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb bells in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do ? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday... That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hands.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich,
born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab

Oh Moondia, Oh Keechee!!!!
Hardup Singh.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Our Sunday Girl - JANE



My sweet Lady Jane
When I see you again
Your servant am I
And will humbly remain
Just heed this plea my love
On bended knees my love
I pledge myself to Lady Jane
My dear Lady Anne
I've done what I can
I must take my leave
For promised I am
This play is run my love
Your time has come my love
I've pledged my troth to Lady Jane
[Interlude]
Oh my sweet Marie
I wait at your ease
The sands have run out
For your lady and me
Wedlock is nigh my love
Her station's right my love
Life is secured with Lady Jane