Monday Humour

Now we know why Indians don't make good "terrorists" ....

1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.

2. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.

3. With free food & drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're There

4. We talk with our hands;therefore we would have to put our weapons down.

5. We would ALL want to fly the plane.

6. We would argue and start a fight in the plane

7. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before doing it.

8. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield

9. We would have postponed the mission because acricket match was going on that day

10. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph being taken with one of the hostages.

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World Trade Centre

A guy with an office on 103rd floor of the World Trade Centre spent the morning at his girlfriend's apartment with his phone turned off. He wasn't watching TV either.

When he turned the phone back on about 11am, it rang immediately. It was his hysterical wife, "Are you OK? Where are you?"

He said, "What do you mean? I'm in my office of course."

His marriage ended. He lost his job. He is single again.

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A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.

While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her, in the Holy Land, for $150.”

The man thought about it and said he preferred to have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to shipped when it would be wonderful to be buried here on the Holy Land?”

The man replied, “Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and 3 days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”

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Lionel Richie could have made a lot more money if he had done "Endless Love", a duet by himself.

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A little boy got on a bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he has his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man who was a priest said, "I am a Father".

The little boy replied, "My father doesn't wear his collar like that."

The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of many ..........."

The boy said, "My dad has four boys, four girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way."

The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds", and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking, for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."