Monday Humour

A Lebanese Salesman

A vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door of house in Beirut and a middle-aged lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the Living Room and poured a bag of cow manur (droppings) on the carpet and eagerly exclaimed: "Madam, if I can't clean up this mess with this new, excellent and powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this shit".

"Do you need chili sauce or ketchup with that?" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"Because power is out - we don't have electricity!" said the lady.

The moral of the story is: Never start a project unless you have all the items required available on hand.

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Barber in NY

There was once a very good barber in NEW YORK , who gave Free Haircuts to everybody who came into his shop to have their haircuts.

One day a florist went to him for a haircut.
After the cut, he wanted to pay the barber, but the barber replied: 'It's alright, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'

The Florist was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, there was a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door

A policeman went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replied: 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'

The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, there was a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

A Malaysian software engineer went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replied: 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'
The Malaysian software engineer was very happy and left..

The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, guess what he found there.............



Can you guess?
Think like a Malaysian.....

A dozen Malaysians waiting for free haircuts!

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A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters.
The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid, they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:
Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,
I am sending you Ba's body since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Gujarat.
Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.
You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts). Please divide these among all of you.
On Ba's feet, you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.
Ba is wearing 6 American T-shirts. The large size is for Mohan.

Just distribute the rest among yourselves.
The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.

The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.
The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews.

Please distribute all these fairly.

Love Smita.
PS : If anything more required,let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well nowadays.

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Why football is played for 45 minutes in each half?

With the World Cup now on its final leg, some basic simple facts that you've just got to know. So, tell me WHY - IS FOOT BALL BEING PLACE FOR 45 MINUTES IN EACH HALF?

Those who thought of this must have lots of time. Why people play football for 45 minutes, not 30 minutes or 1 hour?

Even the sports scientist and some of the senior players could not give the right answer.

In that confusing situation one person came up with a reasonable answer. He said,

"The reason people play the game for 45 minutes is .....

There are 2 teams and there are 11 players in each team.

Each player brings his own "2 balls". So in total there are 44 balls.

There is one ball on the ground itself. Thus the grand total of 45.

Question answered!!!

Some times there is extra time of 2 minutes which is the referee's balls!!! Wakaka!!

Cheers and I hope you guys have not been taking too many MCs during this World Cup season, eh?

Oh, one more thing. What about the linesmen? Or are they lineswomen?