Monday Humour

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A DUMB BLONDE

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage.

A blonde came in and asked for a "seven-hundred-ten".

We all looked at each other and another customer asked,

'What is a seven-hundred- ten?'

She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine,

I have lost it and need a new one.'

She replied that she did not know exactly what it was

but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen

and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to a car just like hers

which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?'.

She pointed and said,

'Of course, its right there.' the mechanic fainted

If you're not sure what a 710 is ....

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I e-meow U, U e-meow me

Many of our young generation of Malaysians are going to speak and write like this soon.

The Malaysian Ministry of Education (KPM) are reverting to teaching Science and Mathematics in Bahasa Malaysia,

Dear Ah Lian

Thanks you for your letters. Wrong time no see you. How anything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your face look? Somemore you must wear high hill kick kok shoe, hope you can wok properly wit out felling over. You know, Ah Kau Kia working start in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his junk friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok. Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright. We so drown we no go toilet but pee pees on the floor. Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years Annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family. My brother eye deer also to in white the kampong head. I only hope one day we no need write you and send litters to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup you soon. And when you got time, please few free call up to me. Good bye..... Worm regret, Ah Beng ------------------------------------------------------------- MARITAL BLISS

Bill and his wife Blanche went to the state fair every year,

And every year Bill would say, " Blanche, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "

Blanche always replied, " I know, Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,
and fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "

One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said,
" Blanche, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter,

I might never get another chance "

To this, Blanche replied, " Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,

and fifty bucks is fifty bucks"

The pilot overheard the couple and said, " Folks I'll make you

a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you
can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a
penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars. "

Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks, but still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said,
" By golly , I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you
didn't. I'm impressed! "

Bill replied, "Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something

when Blanche fell out, but you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "*