Monday Humour

1. Wife & Husband
Wife: How have you managed to get home so early today???
Husband: My boss lost temper with me and shouted.....
"Go to Hell". So I came home.

2. Black Guy & a White Girl
A Black Guy and a White Girl met at a nightclub. She took him to
her apartment and said..... Tie me to the bed and do what black
men do best!!!
So he ran off with the TV and BlueRay player.

3. Wife & Husband
Wife: I wish I were a newspaper so you can hold me every morning!!!
Husband: I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear, so I can have a
NEW ONE every morning!!!

4. Something Wrong
A Chinese Couple got married. When their baby was born, she had big,
blue eyes, curly, blonde hair and brown skin. They named her... SAM
TING LONG.

5. Wedding Nights
Man to Wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are
sleeping with???
Wife to Man: Of course Honey, I stayed awake with all the others!!!

6. Not at all
A 70 years old Man asks his wife: Do you feel sad when you see me
running behind young girls???
Wife replied: No, not at all. Even dogs chase cars let alone nice cars but
they can't drive it.

7. Don't Disgrace your Family - A young Chinese Girl going on her 1st Date.
Her mother warned her: First he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your
breasts, you'll enjoy; then he wants to go on top..... You must not allow it
so as not to disgrace our family name.
Next day Girl told Mom: Everything happened exactly as you predicted. I
didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and disgraced his family.


8. Baby Burnt
A White Couple had a black Baby. The Husband doesn't believe that it's his
Baby.
Husband: Why the Baby black???
Wife: You hot, I hot, Baby burnt!!!

9. Expiry Date
Wife: Honey, what are you looking for???
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour???
Husband: I was looking for the expiry date!!!

10. Why Black?
Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white???
Mom: Listen Son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should
be thankful that you are not barking!!!
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Terry Fator and his puppets