Monday Humour

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IRISH HANDYMEN

Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing
Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this
Flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.'
The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few
Bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and
Announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches.
Then, she walked off.
Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde!
We need the bloody height, and she gives us the length.
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THE LUCKY FROG

 

A man takes the day off work and
decides to go out golfing.

He is on the second hole when he
notices a frog sitting next to the green.

He thinks nothing of it and is
About to shoot when he hears,

Ribbit 9 Iron."

The man looks around and doesn't
See anyone.

Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."

He looks at the frog and decides to
prove the frog wrong, puts the
club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the cup.

He is shocked.

He says to the frog,

"Wow that's amazing.
You must be a lucky frog, eh?

The frog replies,

"Ribbit Lucky frog."

The man decides to take the frog
with him to the next hole.
"What do you think frog?"

The man asks.

"Ribbit 3 wood."

The guy takes out a 3 wood and,
Boom! Hole in one.

The man is befuddled and doesn't know
what to say.

By the end of the day, the man golfed the
Best game of golf in his life and
asks the frog,

"OK where to next?"
The frog replies,

"Ribbit Casino D'Genting.

"They go to Genting Highlands
and the guy says,

"OK frog, now what?"

The frog says, "Ribbit roulette."

Upon approaching the roulette table,

The man asks,

"What do you think I should bet?"

The frog replies,

"Ribbit $3000, Black 6."

Now, this is a
million-to-one shot to win, but
after the golf game the man
figures what the heck.
Boom!

Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and
buys the best room in the hotel.

He sits the frog down and says,

"Frog, I don't know how to repay you.
You've won me all this money and
I am forever grateful."

The frog replies,

"Ribbit Kiss Me."
He figures why not,

Since after all the frog did for him,

He deserves it.

With a kiss, the frog turns into a
gorgeous China doll.

"And that,

 

your honor, is how this teenager
ended up in my room.