Political jokes

As the temperature rises each day as we get closer to the polling day on May 5, here are some political jokes to lighten yourself up a bit.

Political Humour (or is it?)

1. We hang petty thieves and appoint the great thieves to public office.
~Aesop, Greek slave & fable author 

2. Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
~Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher

3. Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
~Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician 

4. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
~Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow for the Defense' by Irving Stone.

5. Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
~John Quinton, American actor/writer

6. Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to      protect each from the other.
~Oscar Ameringer, "the Mark Twain of American Socialism."

7. I offered my opponents a deal: "if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them".
~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952..

8. A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~Texas Guinan. 19th century American businessman

9. I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician

10. Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
~Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924
Olympic Games in Paris, 1902-1981)

11. A corrupt politician is akin to having a monkey in a room full of bananas.
- Unknown.

I am reminded of a joke: What happens if a politician drowns in a river? That is pollution. What happens if all of them drown? That is solution!!!