Monday Humour

THREE THINGS KJ LIKES ABOUT PAKATAN

Youth and Sports Minister Khairy Jamaluddin was put on the spot at a student summit today when he was asked to name three things he liked about Pakatan Rakyat.

Khairy, who is usually a good orator, had his jaw gaping wide a few times while composing his thoughts.

"Umm... The first thing I sort of like about them, I have to be grudging about it... Oh come on give me a chance here," he said at the 7th Annual Malaysian Students Leaders Summit in Kuala Lumpur to roars of laughter from the crowd.

When he finally managed to come up with an answer, Khairy said he admired the sense of camaraderie among Pakatan components.

"You would see DAP, PAS and PKR at the same ceramah.

"We (BN) try to do that as well but the sense of being together is quite obvious in Pakatan which I think is something to respect," he said.

For the second point, Khairy conceded that Pakatan appeared to give more space to young people, to which the room applauded in agreement.

"You don't have to clap, you don't have to make things worse for me, it's already uncomfortable.

"The third (thing) I think is their (Pakatan's) engagement on social media is a bit better than ours... Just a bit," said Khairy, who is among the most active BN politicians on Twitter.

'Too many old men'

To a question on whether Umno had an unwelcoming attitude towards youths, Khairy admitted that this was the case but the party was trying to change this.

He added that young people in Umno must also go the extra mile by going to the ground and cannot expect to be parachuted as candidates.

"I was Umno Youth chief but was not appointed to any ministry, I was in the wilderness for five years but I stuck (with it), learned about the programme, got to know the party and grassroots," he said.

While some young people think that they would have more space by joining Pakatan, Khairy had an advice for them.

"Some young people say they should join Pakatan because it's easy to be a candidate because BN has many old warlords who do not want to give way.

"But Pakatan has so many 'young people' that if you wait for them to 'expire' it's going to take a long me.

"But we (BN) got many old men," he quipped.

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Irish Joke

Bono is at a U2 concert in Ireland when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.

Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone..."Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A voice from near the front of the audience pierces the silence..."Oh, please, stop doing it then!"

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A SPAGHETTI LOVE AFFAIR

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey, she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. 

On the card was written:

Spaghetti,

Spaghetti,

Spaghetti,

Spaghetti,

Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce!

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PRANK OF A RETIREE

As a public service to my retired friends and others who may get trapped
into going shopping .........

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my  dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
our store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you

from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed

below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.*

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.

This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a

reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance,
causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't
have a Code 3.

4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on

layaway.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.