Monday Humour

Here's something to think about. 

I recently picked a new G.P. doctor.

After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (Yeh I just reached 65).

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?

'Oh not much grog these days and don't smoke' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks, fatty roasts and barbecued Ribs?

'I said, 'Not much.... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, surfing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?'

'No,' I said....

He looked at me and said,.. 'Then, why in the world would you want to live to 85?

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AT A GAY WEDDING BETWEEN 2 MEN, THE PRIEST WAS CONFUSED AS TO HOW TO DECLARED THEM AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.

  

AFTER A LONG SILENCE HE SAID, "I PRONOUNCE YOU AS "MAN UNITED"

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What deep thinkers men are. I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. 

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'. The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would have said 'about what'. 

At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions. 

Finally I thought about an age old question: 

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? 

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. 

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. 

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. 

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." 

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." 

I rest my case. Time for another beer.