Thursday, February 25, 2010

Oh Lordy, Lordy, Lordy, ....

Another article which should have gone under my "Monday's Humour" column but decided to post it today because it is just simply too good to be missed or held back. Enjoy this article from Hafidz Baharom [The Malaysian Insider].

I’ll start with a deep sigh and state the obvious. We are not practising Sharia law. It’s a farce to make most Muslims feel good about their ‘holier than thou’ selves.

And honestly, if we were to truly follow Islamic law to the core, then most members of Parliament would have had their right hands surgically removed. If this was Pakistan, their arms would be road bumps.

Most banks would be closed down and their employees lose their lives for usury.

The Orang Asli cane fashioners would probably be the richest people in the nation due to their wares being used for law enforcement, alongside the medical professionals and butchers involved.

Plus, Ipoh’s marble quarries would make a killer profit for supplying raw materials for public stoning and our stadiums would probably be packed to the brim on Fridays to witness all these events.

Let’s not forget the public beheadings. Can’t help but wonder how many thoroughbred Muslims would be dragging human heads to the Selangor State Secretariat this time around.

I consider myself politically independent because I don’t fully support either of the Siamese twins we call the Barisan Nasional and the Pakatan Rakyat. This is probably due to the fact that neither of them can truly offer me what I want.

So in the next election, my vote is going to be based on who does the least Islamic things in the area of Shah Alam.

I am truly sorry to offend the Muslims, particularly the women, but when some of you state to the press that you “liked” people being caned as punishment...

I’m going to ask all of you to loosen your Aryani style hijabs just a bit because obviously not enough oxygen is getting to your heads.

If you haven’t heard, 4 men and 3 women were recently found guilty for having sex without being married.

First and foremost, I wonder who was representing these individuals who didn’t file for an appeal to stay the execution of the caning sentence, as stated by the code of conduct of the Federal Syariah Court.

Couldn’t said lawyer have filed an appeal and blown this event out of proportion for the media to highlight before the sentencing?

Or perhaps the said lawyer didn’t have any contact with Sisters In Islam?

According to our Home Minister Datuk Seri Hishamuddin Tun Hussein the women have apparently been caned and found to have been “okay” with it. Maybe it’s just me, but the way the Home Minister described it is as if these women were whipped and then told to fill up a satisfactory survey card.

And of course, the men were not given the survey card at all. In fact nobody mentioned what happened to the men.

Our darling Home Minister decides to tell us of the whipping after it has taken place to avoid another Kartika fiasco. If you have been living under a shell, Kartika is the part-time model who is sentenced to be caned, wants to be caned, but the government can’t find a person to cane her, supposedly.

While the so-called Islamic NGOs are all congratulating the government on a job well done, others are quietly slapping their foreheads and wondering just how exactly this is going to turn out internationally.

What we have here is pure and simple cowardice by a government that is afraid of the public pressuring them. Thus, the blackout of information before the caning was done is a clear sign that this government has failed in remaining transparent in its dealings with the rakyat.

I equate this with the barbaric and cowardly actions of the Iranian government in the hanging of Delara Darabi, who was granted a two-month stay from the judiciary but was hanged anyway, before the public could be given any notice whatsoever on what the heck was going on.

I personally believe that our nation’s government has turned cowardly. And honestly, I think it’s because the nation’s balls have been skewered. Just look at the top of KLCC.

But then, I’m guessing that it’s just symbolic that Petronas has the nation by the balls.

Truth be told, that’s not the problem.

The problem here is we still think it right to cane women and men for having sex, and we’re not even talking about sadomasochism here. I don’t have a problem with people having sex, and I think others should bloody well mind their own business.

If there should be any concerns over people having sex, it’s contraception to avoid baby dumping and the spread of STDs, and drug prohibition to avoid date raping.

Other than that, the government and the religious community should seriously start focusing on cleaning up their own act.

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