Saturday, July 21, 2012

Jemaah Islamiah & ex-communist elements detected in Opposition parties - police

Unbelievable but it is true.  Our people are running so much out of ideas to demonise the Opposition that they have to resort to this, in the words of Lim Kit Siang' 'cock and bull' story.

The Royal Malaysian Police (PDRM) Special Intelligence Branch has revealed that there are Jemaah Islamiah (JI) terrorists and individuals linked to the communist movement who try to penetrate the opposition parties and become candidates for the coming general election.

Bukit Aman Social Extremist Division chief assistant director E2 (M) Datuk Mohd Sofian Md Makinuddin said the special branch detected several JI elements who attempted to infiltrate PAS besides some communist movement elements into DAP.

"Several leaders from the Socialist Party of Malaysia (PSM) and Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR) also frequent Bangkok and southern Thailand, believed to attend secret meetings with former Malayan Communist Party (PKM) leaders there.

"The effect is new political ideas which have the potential of threatening the nation's core values have spread. The movement receives support from foreign non-governmental organisations (NGO) which assist in terms of finance, training locally and abroad as well as exposure to specific expertise in facing the general election."

He said this when delivering a lecture titled "Keselamatan Negara Tanggungjawab Bersama" (National Security A Shared Responsibility) at the National Youth Leaders Convention in Parliament building Thursday.

[Source: BERNAMA]

I simply find it preposterous that communism is being used as the bogeyman again in this time and age.  I can't blame Mohd Sofian for coming up with such tall tale being a product of our mediocre education system where world view is either minimal or zero.  Except for North Korea, China, Vietnam and Russia have become even more capitalistic than us and because of their dynamic economies, UMNO has no choice but to grovel to them for a share of their trading pie.

If it is true that communism is making a come back, I am trying to imagine Chin Peng and his band of maybe five octogenarians trying to take over PutraJaya with tongkats and some old rusty Enfield rifles left over from World War II.  Probably the excitement will kill them before our guys could even open the first shot.  This scenario will be a good skit for Douglas Lim and his MACC comedian friends.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

A picture paints a thousand words

Read more here.

Read more here.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Are you aware you are drinking alcohol?

A recent study has revealed that more than half of leading cola soft drink brands contain small traces of alcohol.

Researchers from the National Institute of Consumption (INC) in Paris claim to have found low levels of alcohol (around 10mg in every litre) in global Coca-Cola drinks, which is approximately 0.001% of alcohol per litre.

The brands tested positive for alcohol include Pepsi Cola, Coca-Cola Classic Light and Coke Zero.

The surprising results were published in the latest issue of the French magazine, 60 Million Consumers.

“It is possible that traces of alcohol come from the process’ of making Coca-Cola according to its secret recipe,” said Michel Pepin from Coca-Cola France, reports Channels TV.

Responding to the claims that these results will upset Muslim cola drinkers, Pepin added:
“Furthermore, the Paris Mosque has provided us with a certificate stating that our products can be consumed by the Muslim community in line with the religious opinions of the Committee of the Mosque of Paris.”

A spokesperson for Pepsi told the Daily Mail that they acknowledge “soft drinks can contain minute traces of alcohol because of the ingredients used.”

Responding to the findings, Tamsin Kelly, editor of parenting website, told HuffPost Lifestyle: "I would think parents would be slightly appalled by news that so many colas contain traces of alcohol – all the more reason why these drinks should be a rare treat for children."

For full article, read here.

I find it strange that the Paris Mosque says it is okay for Muslims to consume coke knowing very well it contains alcohol.  Alcohol is alcohol whether it is 10% or 1% or 0.001%.  It is like you cannot indulge in sex but you can khalwat?  Maybe my Muslim friends out there can enlighten other readers of this blog on the matter?

English to be the official language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will eplace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Do you think the BN government is going to act on the Suhakam report?

The panel is headed by Suhakam vice-chairperson Khaw Lake Tee (above) and assisted by commissioners Detta Samen and Mahmood Zuhdi A Majid.

Monday Humour


A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something exciting and to relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present, the first little boy the teacher called on, walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.  Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.
'It's a period,' he replied.
'I can see that,' said the teacher, 'but what is so exciting about a period?'
'Darned if I know,' chirped the little boy, 'but this morning my sister was missing one, my mother fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy!'

Grandma & Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked
about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should  take one Dad. They're very strong
and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10. A pill," Answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the
morning, I'll put the money u
nder the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called
Grandpa and said, "I told You each pill was $10, not $110."

 "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!" 

A married couple walk past a gorilla enclosure, at the Zoo.
Says the woman: 'Mark, do you know that gorillas are the only animals which
resemble men in their behaviour? Look, seeing that no one is looking, I'll
expose one of my breasts & see how excited it gets, just as men do.'

Mary then exposes one of her breasts and sure enough the gorilla gets
excited and grabs the bars of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free.

'See,' says the woman, 'Now, I know why you react the way you do. Men can't
control their animal instincts, just like gorillas can't.'

Says Mark: 'Now expose both breasts & let's see what happens'.

The woman exposes both breasts to the gorilla. It gets very excited & is now
desperately trying to escape from the enclosure.

Says Mark: 'This is incredible!! Now, pull your skirt up, turn around and
expose your bum & let us see what happens!'

The woman pulls her skirt up, turns around with her bum to the gorilla,
which by now, is extremely aroused, breaks free from the enclosure, grabs
the woman & starts ripping the clothes off her.

The woman yells: 'Mark, what do I do now? Help me!'

Mark replies: 'Now, tell him you have a headache & you are not in the
mood... Let us see if Gorillas & Men are the same!!

A guy was eating in a gerai mamak. In an oversight, he swallows a coin and chokes. His wife tries hitting his back, slapping on the neck, shaking him hard without any success to make him spit the coin. Now the guy begins to show signs of choking - turning blue. The desperate wife starts screaming for help. A man gets up from a nearby table, and with astonishing tranquillity, without saying a word, he lowers the guy's pants, squeezes his testicles and pulls them down violently! Naturally, the guy with irresistible pain spits out the coin. The gentleman with the same astonishing ease & tranquility returns to his teh tarik without a word.

He was in batik long-sleeves, songkok, thick sunglasses, ring with big stone on his finger, Porsche Cayenne parked nearby.

Soon the wife calms down & approaches the gentleman to thank him for saving her husband's life.

She asks: "Tuan, are you a doctor?"

"No, puan, I am from BN. We are trained to squeeze the balls of the public to make them cough up the last sen."


A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.  After Mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done.

The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.  If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday, he took the Monsignor's advice.  At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.  He proceeded to talke up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door :

1.  Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath.  He did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock, and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the Cross as the 'Big T'.
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper, he said, "Take this and eat it for this is my body."  He did not say, "Eat me."


Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (true story).

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens
at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne
fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the
Windshields of their new high speed trains.
Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled
out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to
smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's
back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an
arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the
experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British
scientists for suggestions.

You're going to love this......

Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:

"Defrost the chicken."

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Our Sunday Girl - Angeline

Sweet Angeline I loved you
Much more than poets say in rhyme
Just for one short time
Sweet Angeline remember
Though we've not seen the summer through
I lived only for you
I'm only human and I realize
It's no use trying to disguise
My love for you,
Angeline, has ended
So let's be thankful now not sad
For the little love we've had
Sweet Angeline remember
Though we've not seen the summer through
I lived only for you
I'm only human and I realize
It's no use trying to disguise
My love for you,
Angeline has ended
So let's be thankful now not sad
For the little love we've had