Thursday, October 13, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Michael Wee is the proprietor of a pub in Damansara.
He realizes that virtually all of his customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize his bar.
To solve this problem, he comes up with a new marketing plan that allows his customers to drink now, but pay later.
Michael keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word gets around about Michael's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Michael's pub. Soon he has the largest sales volume for any bar in the Klang Valley.
By providing his customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Michael gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, he substantially increases his prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.
Consequently, Michael's gross sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Michael's borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for any undue concern because he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral!
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS.
These "securities" then are bundled and traded on international securities markets.
Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as "AAA Secured Bonds" really are debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb - and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.
One day, even though the bond prices still are climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Michael's pub. He so informs Michael.
Michael then demands payment from his alcoholic patrons. But, being unemployed alcoholics -- they cannot pay back their drinking debts.
Since Michael cannot fulfill her loan obligations he is forced into bankruptcy. The pub closes and Michael's 11 employees lose their jobs.
Overnight, DRINKBOND prices drop by 90%.
The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.
The suppliers of Michael's pub had granted him generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the BOND securities.
They find they are now faced with having to write off his bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.
His beer supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, his wine supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.
Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multibillion ringgit no-strings attached cash infusion from the government.
The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, nondrinkers who have never been in Michael's pub.
Now do you understand?
A woman was enjoying a Happy Hours after work drink with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered the room. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...
on one condition..."
Flabbergasted but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply and passionately into his eyes, barely concealing her anticipation and excitement, and slowly and meaningfully said....
"Clean my house."
A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.
Catholic: “I have a large fortune....I am going to buy Citibank!”
Protestant: “I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!”
Muslim: “I am a fabulously rich prince.... I intend to purchase Microsoft!”
They then all wait for the Jew to speak....
The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee, looks at them and casually says:
“I'm not selling!!!...”
Mathematician: How do you write 4 in between 5?
Response from :
Korean: Is this a joke?
Japanese : Impossible!
American : The question is all wrong!
British : It's not found on the internet.
Then an Indian replied : [Taa ...... Daaa]
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Selangor Islamic affairs exco member Hasan Ali today rapped the media for using the word 'raid' in describing the Aug 3 incident at the Damansara Utama Methodist Church.
Instead, he said, the Selangor Islamic Affairs Department (Jais) had in fact just 'searched' the premises during the controversial incident.
"The term 'search' has been changed to become 'raid'. Who raided (the place)? A raid involves acts of ransacking, kicking in doors, and throwing things around...
"(But the meaning of) 'search' is different... did the media see in the incident or really understand what took place?" he asked about 180 people, including media practitioners.
In his opening speech at a Jais-sponsored seminar entitled "The Implementation of Policy and Strategy: The Role of Media in Facing Threats to Faith", Hasan added that the word 'raid' implied that force was used by Jais.
"When Jais is reported to have conducted a raid, it means that Jais had acted roughly, did not follow investigation norms, that they were trying to cover up something and going against moral and religious teachings," he said.
Sympathise with Jais call
Defending Jais further, Hasan, who stressed he had no "conflict of interest" in the issue, also invited the audience to "show sympathy" to the embattled department.
"When I defend Jais in its involvement in the incident, I am not thinking as a PAS member or a politician (but) as someone who has been entrusted by God.
"My words are sincere, I speak of faith and syariah... I do not use the language of politics," he said.
Hasan, who is also Gombak Setia assemblyperson, said that in fact there are "a lot of things" that he wanted to say in relation to the incident, but was barred by the gag order issued by the menteri besar on all exco members.
He added that he had adhered to the gag order so that his statements could not be "manipulated" by the media.
Speaking to reporters later, he said that he "did not see" any errors in media reports of the controversial incident, but problems in the way the reports were slanted.
"This issue involves Muslims and non-Muslims, involving two religions, so it is very sensitive," Hasan (right) said, reminding reporters that the gag order was still in force.
Asked to elaborate on his call for sympathy for Jais, Hasan said this meant that the media should "report in the context in which Jais would want".
"I'm not asking you to support Jais, no, no, no. I want to see the media understand what Jais wants, its idealism and intentions," he said.
On when the Sultan of Selangor is expected to reveal the Jais report on the church incident, Hasan said that "it is not in his jurisdiction".
"That is between the MB (Abdul Khalid Ibrahim) and the sultan... it's best we wait for the palace to decide," he said.
On a separate matter, Hasan said he was still waiting for the sultan to make time to discuss the issue pertaining to accreditation for politicians to speak on religious matters.
He said that he was also looking to meet with the Selangor Islamic Affairs Council (Mais) and Jais to discuss the matter.
“We will see when the sultan is available, and when Jais and Mais are free... but we will follow the palace’s schedule,” he said.
He added that Jais’ decision not to give accreditation to politicians had caused “slight confusion and unhappiness” among preachers who were also politicians.
Among those who have failed to obtain the mandatory accreditation is PAS Shah Alam MP Khalid Samad, who has also been vocal against the Jais search of DUMC.
So, now it is a 'search' and not a 'raid'. I guess Hasan Ali must be taking us for a fool. If it was a 'search', then where was the search warrant? About 30 JAIS officers and police personnel entered a private premise where a private charity dinner is being hosted, UNINVITED, going from table to table asking the guests to produce their MyKad and then checking the place over for evidences that may implicate the organisers and Muslim guests of possible proselytisation, is not only trespassing in effect but the activities conducted was undoubtedly a 'raid'.
Maybe I am not so conversant with the various religious enactments passed by our state legislators but if it is true that JAIS and the police can conduct a search without a warrant and can enter a private premise without prior consent of the owner, then there is something very wrong with the law. It makes it appear as though we are living under the tyranny of the Nazis where the Gestapos could come knocking at your door in the middle of the night, enter the place as they like, make a search and then followed by arrests. If it is true, then who are the parties involved, besides UMNO, in passing this Act. The Act could not have come into effect during Pakatan's administration as such activities were carried out even before 2008. One possible answer ..... MCA and MIC! Even if they had protested against the raid, it was definitely a weak protest because they were a party to the passing of such an Act.
What JAIS could have done insofar as the DUMC is concerned :
1. Upon arriving at the church, have all the officers wait outside the premises of the building or outside the church gate. Some due respect must be given as this is a church not a drug den.
2. The leader of the party will then enter the premise and ask for the organiser.
3. Once the organiser is made known, the leader of the raid party identifies himself and state his purpose of the visit.
4. The organiser will then arrange a private room for the necessary interview between the JAIS officers and the Muslim guests.
5. The organiser can then go quietly from table to table to inform Muslim guests of JAIS presence and their purpose of wanting to interview them.
6. Once everything is ready, the leader than signal his men to enter the premises, quietly directing his men what to do. Long before the raid, JAIS officers should also be briefed of the DOs and DON'Ts when entering Christian churches or Hindu/Buddhist temples. Their job is not to alarm the guests and at the same traumatising them with their sudden appearance.
Respect begets respect. If you don't respect the religion of other faiths, how could you possibly expect others to respect you? It is so simple, and yet it is not adhered to.