Saturday, January 30, 2010

Happy Thaipusam and what the MSM did not tell you

Batu Caves was a hotbed of politics as both sides of the spectrum rallied during the Thaipusam celebrations yesterday to win over the much contested Indian votes.

Despite battling on home ground, the Pakatan Rakyat Selangor government took off hamstrung as police refused them their event permit at the last minute.

NONEWhile Prime Minister Najib Razak, MIC president S Samy Vellu and their cohorts addressed the masses from a vantage point within the temple compounds, their counterparts had to do without a stage, which was forcefully dismantled by the police.

The underdogs, however, worked against odds to inspire hundreds into a full-throated roaring chant of 'Hidup Rakyat', as the state leaders spoke from a makeshift stage attached to a Selayang Municipal Council truck.

"Just like the old times," observed a Pakatan leader.

The event, which started at 11pm, two hours later than scheduled to make way for Najib, was held under the Middle Ring Road flyover some 500 meters away from the temple.

Lukewarm welcome for first couple

This was in stark contrast to the federal government's happening, where Najib and his waving wife could only garner a sprinkling of applause and that, only after Samy called him the 'Father of 1Malaysia'.

While Selangor MB Khalid Ibrahim guaranteed the safety of all in Selangor, Najib's delivery was mainly the rehashed story about the handouts distributed to the Indian community by the BN last year.

thaipusam khalid donation in batu cavesNot to be outdone, Khalid (right) announced donations to build more temples in Selangor.

Police presence was equally strong at both events but their action had more muscle at the Pakatan end with attempts to halt Khalid's speech after threatening to arrest the whole lot for illegal assembly.

But, according to Selangor state exco Elizabeth Wong, the men in blue were pushed away by the passionate crowd.

The crowd also booed Samy when his car passed by, with one man screaming, "Go home, Selangor is my state not yours."

Speaking to the press later, Khalid expressed his disappointment at being "pushed aside by (their) guests (the federal government)" in their home state.

"We are now looking to see what authority we have over usage of land and public spaces as the state government, so we can avoid this (conflict) next year," he said.

Organising exco, Xavier Jayakumar told
Malaysiakini that the disruptions cost the state at least RM120,000, excluding payments to be made to pop stars from India whose appearance had to be cancelled.

[Source: Malaysiakini]

Looking at the first picture above, it appears that there is this montage of Najib having a similar pose as the the statue of Lord Murugan behind it. Is this allowed in Islam? I guess if Muslims are allowed to drive a car named after a Hindu God, Iswara, then I guess this must be okay.

Friday, January 29, 2010

This is no Monday Humour

When I came across this photo in one of the blogs, I just can't help but feel sadden by the fact of how far gone we are where the image of our country is concerned. The semenanjung UMNO muslims and their associated NGOs can shout and cry over the 'Allah' issue, but the end result is we have ended up as a laughing stock in the world [sigh!!!]

Nik Aziz fetes non-Muslim religious leaders

I wonder whether UMNO and all the pro-UMNO NGOs could emulate what Tok Guru Nik Aziz is doing. I have personally been to Kota Bharu and witnessed first hand for myself how the people lived there; especially the huge Buddhist temple with the reclining Buddha located next to a mosque.

Tok Guru Nik Aziz posing with the Muslim and non-Muslim leaders
during the 'Marhabbah' session in Kota Bahru yesterday

KOTA BARU, 28 Jan — The PAS state government of Kelantan made history today when leaders of the five major religious communities were hosted to lunch with Mentri Besar Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat.

Nik Aziz said that it was his government’s intention to strengthen ties and mutual understand through the meeting which was themed ‘Mahabbah Kerajaan Kelantan Bersama Ketua-Ketua Agama’, a reference to a government expressing ‘God’s love.’

He said it was imperative that his government, based on the principle of ‘Developing together with Islam’, to put this into practice especially in the current volatile political situation.

‘This has been the practice for PAS since it was established. I am so happy with the positive reception this meeting has received,’ he said.

He said that it was proof that Kelantan had never created obstacles for members of a multi-religious society.

‘Kelantan has always validated religious and cultural diversity,’ he added at the conclusion of the meeting. The meeting was organised by the state government.

Attending the meeting were leaders from across the country representing Christians, Buddhists, Hindus and Sikhs as well as 300 of their believers.

At the start of the meeting the state chairman of the Malaysian Consultative Council on Buddhsim, Christianity, Hinduism, Sikhism and Taoism (MCCBCHST), JP Kamalanathan garlanded Nik Aziz as a gesture of respect.

Anglican Bishop of West Malaysia, Ng Moon Hing, and the head monk of Kelantan, Chau Kun Ngiat, were also present.

The meeting began as a courtesy call to the Menteri Besar, by religious leaders attending the national Christian conference being held in the state.

This meeting comes amid an ongoing row over the use of the word ‘‘Allah’’ by non-Muslims.

PAS has taken the position that Islam does not prevent Christians from using the word ‘Allah’ but it should not be used to confuse Muslims.

Today the Islamic Development Department (Jakim) together with the Attorney-General’s office also organised a special session in Putrajaya to explain its position on the use of the term.

In a recent interview given to Harakahdaily, Nik Aziz said that he hoped that today’s meeting would bring calm and comfort to the people of the country.

Nik Aziz also took to task those responsible for throwing wild boar heads into mosques in the Klang Valley yesterday.

“This is a violation. It seems intended to stir-up hatred.” “Not only Muslims but people of all faiths condemn these acts,” he said.

[Source: The Malaysian Insider]

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Muslim overseers blame Christians for Allah row, and my rebuttal

My rebuttal in brown .....

A forum was recently organised for civil servants here by the Islamic Development Department (Jakim) which suggested that the Barisan Nasional (BN) government was lax in defending Islam, after the High Court ruling allowing a Catholic weekly to use “Allah” in its Bahasa Malaysia section.

Mohd Aizam Masod, an officer from Jakim’s research department, said the argument that Arab Christians and Jews also used the word “Allah” had no domestic merits given that Malaysia is not an Arabic speaking nation.

[What about Indonesia then which is also a non-Arabic speaking country. So is Mohd Aizam trying to tell us that there are two type of Islam, one the universal and the other, Malaysian Islam?]

“For Christians, this is just a question of translation but for us Muslims, the term Allah is integral to our akidah (faith),” he said, arguing that the usage of “Allah” by non-Muslims can and does confuse Muslims.

[To the Christians, "Allah" is not a translation as it has been used since pre-Islamic period which just means God in its generic sense. As with regards to the Malaysian Muslims being confused, I find this utterly strange. Muslims in Sabah and Sarawak do not appear confused despite the fact that a majority of the population are Christians who worship in BM and use the word "Allah" in their prayers. The same thing applies to The Herald which has been in restricted circulation amongst the churches for 16 years. It is incredible that only now, in the 21st century, that Malaysian Muslims or should I say semenanjung Muslims, start to get confused. Our prime minister, Najib Abdul Razak, received his early education from St John's Institution under the tutorship of the La Salle Brothers; and Rafidah Aziz received her early education from Bukit Nanas Convent under the watchful eyes of the Mother Superior and her nuns. I don't find these two leaders being confused.]

“Imagine if Jesus Christ, which under the Unitarian concept is considered as God to the Christians, be called ‘Allah’, wouldn’t it be confusing? Allah is by definition a description of a singular Muslim God, but non-Muslims usage will pluralise it,” he said.

[This shows how little the semenanjung Muslims know about the Catholic Church. We do not address Jesus Christ as Allah. We invite you to attend one of our masses to see and hear for yourself]

Deputy chief of Syariah Research Department of the Attorney-General’s office, Mahamad Nasir Disa, who spoke on the issue from a legal perspective, agreed with his fellow panellists that the issue was an act of provocation by Christians.

“Often the argument given by them is that to deny the usage is to deny their rights to practise their religion but our argument is that the word ‘Allah’ is not an integral part of their religion as compared to us.

“If that is the case, then we can talk about rights. If not, don’t talk about rights,” he said.

[Your rights, my rights ... for one moment, what about the rights of our East Malaysian brethren? They have been using the word for 400 years and to have it suddenly yanked away lacks empathy on the part of these Muslims]

He said that preventing non-Muslims from using the word “Allah” would ease ethnic tensions.

[Instead of talking about this issue from your home turf in semenanjung, why don't you take a trip to Sabah and Sarawak, stand in front of the native Christians there and tell them in the face that they are forbidden to use the word "Allah"].

In his remarks, Mohd Aizam also used alleged “historical facts” to say that Christians had tried to convert Muslims in the region since the colonial days by translating their bibles into local languages.

[If the Catholic Church wanted to convert Muslims to be Christians, many of the Muslim leaders in the country would have become easy target when they were schooling in missionary schools and convents. We have what we call a "captive" market but I am sure our prime minister and the former minister of MITI can vouch that no such thing took place at all. Mod Aizam, you are suffering from a paranoia and stereo-typing the Christians. You said it - "colonial days". We are now living as a free nation and we follow the laws of the land].

But Zamihan went as far as suggesting that a repeat of the May 13 racial riots was possible if the Christians, which to him practised extremism in the matter, did not back down.

["Extremism" is subjective. It is all up to the individual to interpret one's intention. If you want to interpret that going to court to protect our rights is "extremism" and fire-bombing a church is not, then what is there for us to say?]

“Who knows, there might be a Feb 13?” said Zamihan.

[Either your are a "Nostradamus" in the making or you are going to be a party to it?]

[Source : The Malaysian Insider]

The work of agent provocateurs

Well this bunch of social misfits are at it again. This time throwing a couple of wild boar heads into the compound of two mosques, with the purpose of agitating the Muslim community. Since it did not work on the Christians, why not provoke the Muslims instead? Sorry, mate, it will not work because, just like the firebombing of the churches, the Muslims too will remain at peace with themselves and leave it to the police to catch the culprits. Azmin Ali of PKR said he had proof that certain UMNO members were involved in the firebombing of the Tabernacle Church. If it is true, then Najib, Muhyiddin, Hishamuddin and Nazri are no longer in control over such situations and we have to brace ourselves for more mischievous acts to come.

The non-Malays, especially the Chinese, could not have possibly done it, reason being, why use wild boar heads when commercial pig heads are so easily available in the wet market? To get a wild boar, one has to go to a jungle/forest and that would be so inconvenient.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Criticising Malaysia's King

Police hunt for bloggers and others who abuse the late Johor sultan's memory

At least one blogger has been arrested and at least 25 police reports have been filed across Malaysia over online postings insulting Sultan Mahmud Iskandar Almarhum Sultan Ismail, who died Sunday at the age of 77, according to local media.

That included a 29-year-old who blogged under the name ‘Aduka Taruna' and who was arrested in Kelantan and hauled to
Kuala Lumpur for investigation. He later apologized and the blog has been deleted. Police are searching for a second anonymous blogger who posted a video clip of the sultan in which the blogger deleted the former king's words and substituted his own. A task force has been established to seek to trace insults to the dead sultan, The Star reported.

In earlier years, Iskandar reportedly killed two people, including a golf caddy whose head he bashed in with a
golf club, and then maimed the caddy's brother. He was also reportedly responsible for wide range of other public outrages. See our story, Perception and Royal Reality in Malaysia.

Johor Police Deputy Commissioner Mohd Mokhtar Mohd Shariff vowed that the police would "find those responsible and bring them to the court of law." In past months, police have threatened to use sedition charges against many who have criticized the royalty. The threat apparently has deterred a wide number of bloggers and other news outlets that usually pick up Asia Sentinel stories from using the Jan. 25 story on the sultan's death.

Information, Communication and Culture Minister Rais Yatim found it necessary to seek to quell the outpouring of scorn for the Johor royal family, saying it was against Asian lifestyle, laws and the 1Malaysia concept, which Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak is promoting to attempt to reduce racial tension, according to The Star.

"We have things to do. Nothing can be gained from running down someone who just died," he told local media "Very seldom do we find Asians lambasting a former head of state, especially the late Sultan of Johor who was once the
Yang di-Pertuan Agong," or Malaysian king. Under Malaysia's Constitution, the country's nine sultans rotate the kingship between them every five years. Iskandar was named Agong in 1984 and relinquished the crown in 1989.

The sultan's death – and the coronation of his son, appears to have set of an extraordinary outpouring of relief that Iskandar has passed from the scene, and raised concerns about the conduct of his son, Ibrahim Ismail Almarhum Sultan Iskandar, 51, on allegations that he had beaten people in nightclubs and committed other offences including shooting a man in a nightclub after an argument during the 1980s. The charge was dismissed because of the then-prince's immunity. Ibrahim was also involved in two other separate assault cases. In another 2005 case, a young woman reportedly was assaulted by Ibrahim after he accused her of two-timing him.

Nonetheless, The Star quoted associates of the newly crowned sultan as saying he is "regarded as a caring person who will ensure no one is left out in the develop ment of the state."

In response to the Jan. 25 article in Asia Sentinel regarding the late sultan's behavior, letter-writers said they had been forced to duck-walk in nightclubs by members of the Johor royal family, that they lived in fear of being on the Johor roads with any of the sultan's family, that hotels cleared their cocktail lounges of waitresses when the sultan or his brood came in for fear that bodyguards would kidnap them and drag them out.

Despite the behavior of the Johor family and other sultans as well, the local media continue to ignore almost all of the allegations. That is partly because the United Malays National Organisation, seeking to keep the loyalty of ethnic Malays, has made criticism of the royalty an issue with which to bludgeon the opposition whenever possible. In particular, the opposition Pakatan Rakyat coalition criticized a decision last year by the Sultan of Perak to dismiss the opposition government in the state and instead appoint an UMNO chief minister. The case is still on appeal in Malaysian courts. However, UMNO members have filed hundreds of police complaints against
Karpal Singh, the Democratic Action Party's senior leader and a lawyer who took the case to court, and others.

That is a far cry from February 1993, in the wake of beatings of sports figures by Iskandar and Ibrahim, when former Prime Minister
Mahathir Mohamad led a charge to revoke royal immunity from arrest and prosecution, delivering a fire-breathing speech in the Dewan Rakyat, or Parliament, that accused the royals of selling out the country to the British and quoted Tunku Abdul Rahman, the country's first prime minister, as saying the royals could even get away with murder if they wished although he did not name Iskandar.

Mahathir's speech can be found here:
Criticizing Malaysia's Royals

"In this situation," Mahathir said, "the Rajas not only continue their habits that the People dislike and are uneasy with but also matters that are hated by the People. If this trend is not stopped, the feelings of the People towards the Raja will boil over and become so bad that at a point of time in the future, the People may no longer be able to control their feelings."

Wikipedia, the
online encyclopedia – which admittedly occasionally contains erroneous information – details a long list of offences by the recently crowned Johor Sultan, including that he had run up RM26,700 worth of traffic tickets before public embarrassment forced him to pay them. The entry can be found here: Ibrahim Ismail of Johor.

[Source : Asia Sentinel]

Jakim warns Muslims to stay away from book

The book “Muslim Women and The Challenge of Islamic Extremism” can create doubt and disharmony among the people in the country, according to the Malaysian Islamic Development Department (Jakim).

Its director general, Wan Mohamad Sheikh Abdul Aziz Wan Mohamad said the contents of the book contravened the Islamic Publication Materials Censorship Guidelines issued by Jakim in 1996. “Several obvious errors were found (in the book),” he said in a statement today.

He said among others the book stated that Islamic family laws and Syariah criminal laws were promoting prejudice and discrimination against women.

The book also questioned the Fatwa institution and the ban on non-Islamic scholars from discussing Islamic issues, besides promoting re-interpretation of the verses in the Quran, especially on gender bias, he said.

Wan Mohamad said the book had been scrutinised, checked and referred to the Islamic Publication Materials Censorship Committee chaired by the Mufti of Perak, Tan Sri Dr Harussani Zakaria.

“Hence, Muslims in the country are advised to be wary of reading materials which contravene Islamic teachings. If in doubt, refer to the guidelines issued by Jakim,” he said.

Wan Mohamad said Jakim also respected the High Court’s decision yesterday to lift the ban on the book, but felt that it was its responsibility to explain to the public on the errors found in any Islamic book in the market. — Bernama

Back in the 60s, when I was in secondary school, English Literature was one of my favourite subjects. I read books by George Bernard Shaw, Thomas Hardy and William Shakespeare. After having gone through some chapters, the teacher would invite us to comment on the characters, the storyline, etc. She would like to know our thoughts as to how certain scenes could fit in to today's real life situation. There were many poignant scenes from Shakespeare's work and one that stood out in my mind till this day is from the book, "Merchant of Venice". Portia acting as a judge reminded Shylock that since his contract with Antonio read '1 pound of flesh', he was therefore entitled to that stipulated '1 pound of flesh'. However if there was one drop of blood, his properties would be forfeited. Again, since the contract stipulated '1 pound of flesh', and if the flesh cut from Antonio weigh more or less than a pound, his properties too would be forfeited. As it turned out, Shylock lost the case. Now the teacher asked us to look at the issue from Shylock's point of view. Had he not lend the money to Antonio, Antonio's fortune would have been lost forever. So, he was a life saver to Antonio. So now that he had lost the case, he had also lost the money he lent to Antonio. So did justice prevail, the teacher asked and we were told to brainstorm over this issue. Was it a moral issue? Was it right that Antonio got off the hook due to technical reasons? We found it difficult to comment and I even asked myself how could I possibly comment on the works of a great master like William Shakespeare? The teacher explained that although a person like William Shakespeare was a great writer, he was also human being and his views, though acceptable during his time may not necessary be so now. Aha, now I got the point. Fast forward present time. A few years ago, when the film 'Da Vinci's Code' was making waves in town, priests in many Catholic churches warned their congregation about watching the film for fear of being influenced by the distorted facts contained therein. However, on my part, I encouraged my children to watch the film and decide for themselves intelligently the difference between a make believe story and facts. They came home and told me it was good entertainment, no more no less, and their belief in their faith as Catholics have not even wavered one single bit. Get the message?

PKR 'mouseketeers' prod MACC over Disney trips

Selangor PKR Youth members incensed over the alleged selective prosecution by the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) today voiced their grievances with a Walt Disney twist. NONEArmed with a miniature model of Disney World theme park and 'Mickey Hats', a group of PKR Youth members gathered in front of the Selangor MACC headquarters to remind them about the outstanding case. According to Selangor PKR Youth chief Khairul Anuar Ahmad Zainuddin, the movement is upset that the graft watchdog had failed to take action against former menteri besar Dr Mohd Khir Toyo's for abusing state funds for family trips to Disneyland. On the contrary, the MACC appeared to be quick on their feet in investigating current Selangor elected representatives and their aides, he said. NONEIn place of the usual banners, the movement's messages were scribbled across the 'ears' of the 'Mickey Hats', which among others reads, 'Dr Khir visited me in Paris', 'It was a technical visit' and 'MACC, don't forget Mickey!'. Khairul Anuar said after the gathering, he and several other representatives held a meeting with Selangor MACC director Jaafar Mahad. "During the meeting, he said investigations were completed and a report has been sent to the senior federal counsel," he said. No details khir toyo and entourage overseas trip 010409According to Khairul, they were unable to find out exactly when the documents were submitted to the prosecutors. Khairul said that Selangor PKR Youth wants MACC to take this matter seriously because a large sum of taxpayers monies was involved. "We share the sentiments of all Malaysians in wanting the government to be more accountable," he added. In April last year, theDisneyland trips were exposed by Special Select Committee on Competence, Accountability and Transparency (Selcat). According Selcat investigations, state agencies spent RM1.6 million on two overseas trips which included a tour of Paris and Orlando Disneyland. The large entourage included members of Khir's family. The travel documents showed that there were never any technical meetings between the management of Disneyland and the so-called official delegation led by Khir.

Putrajaya pursuing case

At a press conference of his own later, Jaafar confirmed that the case has been referred to a senior federal counsel.

"I was told that the Putrajaya MACC had completed its investigations into the matter and (the findings) have been forwarded to its senior federal counsel.

"Now, the senior federal counsel would investigate the matter from all aspects under the law, based on the testimony given," said Jaafar, according to Bernama.

[Source : Malaysiakini]

Er, let's not forget the RM24m estate as well. The state government could lelong off the property and give the money to the poor, improve certain infrastructure in the state, etc.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Monday Humour

A foreigner's view of Malaysian drivers and their driving habits [PART II] ... continue from last Monday.

What does the sign "Berhenti" mean?

A. This means "Stop", and is used to indicate a junction where there is a possibility that you may have to stop if you cannot fool the cars on the road that you are entering into thinking that you are not going to stop.

Q. What does this sign "Beri Laluan" mean?

A. This means "Give Way", and is used to indicate a junction where the cars on the road that you are entering will give way to you provided you avoid all eye contact with them and you can fool them into thinking that you have not seen them.

 What does the sign "DiLarang Masuk"mean?

A. This means "No Entry". However, when used on exit ramps in multi-story car parks, it has an alternative meaning which is : "Short cut to the next level up".

Q. What does the sign "Pandu Cermat" mean?

A. This means "Drive Smartly", and is placed along highways to remind drivers that they should never leave more than one car length between them and the car in front, irrespective of what speed they are driving. This is to ensure that other cars cannot cut in front of you and thus prevent you from achieving the primary objective of driving in Malaysia, and that is to arrive ahead of the car in front of you. If you cannot see the rear number plate of the car in front of you, then you are not driving close enough.
Q. What is the speed limit in Malaysia?

A. The concept of a speed limit is unknown in Malaysia.

. So what are the round signs on the highways with the numbers 60, 80 and 110?

A. This is the amount of the 'on-the-spot' fine (in ringgit, the local currency) that you have to pay to the police if you are stopped on that stretch of the highway. Note that for expatriates or locals driving Mercedes or BMWs, the on-the-spot fine is double the amount shown on the sign.
Q. Where do you pay the 'on-the-spot' fine?

A. As the name suggests, you pay it 'on-the-spot' to the policeman who has stopped you. You will be asked to place your driving licence on the policeman's notebook that he will had to you through the window of your car. You will note that there is a spot on the cover of the notebook. Neatly fold the amount of your fine into four, place the find on the spot, and then cover it with your driving licence so that it cannot be seen. Pass it carefully to the policeman. Then, with a David Copperfield movement of his hands, he will make your money disappear. It is not necessary to applaud.

Q. But isn't this a bribe?

A. Oh pleeeease, go and wash you mouth out. What do you want? A traffic ticket? Yes, you can request one of those instead, but it will cost you twice the price, forms to fill out, cheques to write envelopes to mail, and then three months later when you are advised that your fine was never received, more forms to fill out, a trip to the police station, a trip to the bank, a trip back to the police station, and may then you will wish you have paid 'on-the-spot'.

Q. But what if I haven't broken any road rules?

A. It is not common practice in Malaysia to stop motorists for breaking road rules (because nobody is really sure what they are). The most common reasons for being stopped are: a) the policeman is hungry and would like you to buy him lunch; (b) the policeman has run out of petrol and needs some money to get back to the station; (c) you look like a generous person who would like to make a donation to the police welfare fund; or (d) you are driving an expensive care which means you can afford to make a donation to the police welfare fund.

[Part III and final part ... continue next Monday]


How do these people survive?


Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)


I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our
things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider',
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened..

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the
Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
ATM 'thingy'
(keep shuddering!!)

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need
some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door
unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to
me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself!!!

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was
typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on
the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take
her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells
her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I
just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

Life is tough...It must be even tougher if you're stupid !