An old Italian man is dying.
He calls his grandson to his bedside....
"Guido, I wanna you lissina me. I wanna you to take-a my chrome-a plated .38 revolver so you will-a always remember-a me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.
Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man...
Whatta you gonna do then?
Pointa to you watch and say, 'Time's Up'?"
Arab student sends an email to his Dad saying:
Dear Dad
Berlin is a wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my Gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train.
Your Son
Nasser
Some time later, Nasser gets a reply to his email from his Dad.
My loving son
Twenty million dollars transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Your Dad.
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Think before U speak!!
Wife goes to Woolworths, sees men's underwear on sale.
She buys a dozen of the same colour.
Goes home and gives hubby.
Hubby protests, "Why buy me the same colour?
People will think I do not change underwear!!
Wife asks,” Which 'people'?"
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