Monday Humour .... Aaaah, marriage bliss

Wife: 'What are you doing?' 
Husband : Nothing. 
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' 
Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.' 
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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' 
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?' 
Wife : 'Yes or no.' 
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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?' 
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.' 
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!' 
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?' 
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Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' 
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' 
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' 
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Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' 
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' 
Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' 
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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?' 
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' 
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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever . 
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.' 
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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?' 
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.'