Monday Humour

SOME BRITISH HUMOUR

During last night's high winds, an African family were killed by a falling tree. A spokesman for the Birmingham City Council said, "We didn't even know they were living up there."

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Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so "Crime Watch" is being shown 5 times a week now.

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I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low.

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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up, Abdul, won't it start?"

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STEVEN COVEY'S 7 HABITS

Steven Covey's famous 7 habits for successful people are nothing more than a free adaptation of very common Hokkien phrase (surprised?)

So why pay thousands of dollars to attend talks when your grand-parents, parents, spouses and even the aunties who sweeps the floor can give you the same kind of advice FOC, everyday?

Habit No 1: Be Pro-Active
Kin Ka Kin Chiew
( Fast leg, fast hand )

Habit No 2: Sharpen the Saw
Toh Bua Lai Lai
( Make the knife sharp )

Habit No 3: Begin with the End In Mind
Ooh Tao Ooh Buay
( Have head, have tail )

Habit No 4: First Things First
Chik Hung Chik Hung Lai - Ban Ban Lai
( One thing at a time, slow and steady ); or
Cho Tow Seng ( Do first ; talk later )

Habit No 5: Think Win-Win
Long Chong Ai Yarh
( Must win everything )
This is definitely not thinking win-win. This is a zero sum game. Win everything!

Habit No 6: Seek To Understand Rather Than To Be Understood
Cho Lang Ai Eh Beng Pek
( You must be understanding )

Habit No 7: Synergize
Tai Kay Ai Hup Chop
( All must cooperate )

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England has madcow

Hong Kong has Macau

Russia has Moscow

Singapore has two famous cows - 'Cow-peh' and 'Cow-bo'

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When your life is in darkness

Pray to God and ask Him to free you from darkness

And if you are still in darkness

Please pay your electricity bill

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If you need advice, SMS me

If you need a darling, call me

If you need help, E-mail me

If you need money, "Nombor yang andar dail, tiada dalam perkhidmatan kami. Terima kasih."