Monday, April 4, 2011

Monday Humour


During last night's high winds, an African family were killed by a falling tree. A spokesman for the Birmingham City Council said, "We didn't even know they were living up there."

Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so "Crime Watch" is being shown 5 times a week now.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low.

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up, Abdul, won't it start?"


Steven Covey's famous 7 habits for successful people are nothing more than a free adaptation of very common Hokkien phrase (surprised?)

So why pay thousands of dollars to attend talks when your grand-parents, parents, spouses and even the aunties who sweeps the floor can give you the same kind of advice FOC, everyday?

Habit No 1: Be Pro-Active

Kin Ka Kin Chiew

( Fast leg, fast hand )

Habit No 2: Sharpen the Saw

Toh Bua Lai Lai

( Make the knife sharp )

Habit No 3: Begin with the End In Mind

Ooh Tao Ooh Buay

( Have head, have tail )

Habit No 4: First Things First

Chik Hung Chik Hung Lai - Ban Ban Lai

( One thing at a time, slow and steady ); or
Cho Tow Seng
( Do first ; talk later )

Habit No 5: Think Win-Win

Long Chong Ai Yarh

( Must win everything )
This is definitely not thinking win-win. This is a zero sum game. Win everything!

Habit No 6: Seek To Understand Rather Than To Be Understood

Cho Lang Ai Eh Beng Pek

( You must be understanding )

Habit No 7: Synergize

Tai Kay Ai Hup Chop

( All must cooperate )


England has madcow

Hong Kong has Macau

Russia has Moscow

Singapore has two famous cows - 'Cow-peh' and 'Cow-bo'


When your life is in darkness

Pray to God and ask Him to free you from darkness

And if you are still in darkness

Please pay your electricity bill


If you need advice, SMS me

If you need a darling, call me

If you need help, E-mail me

If you need money, "Nombor yang andar dail, tiada dalam perkhidmatan kami. Terima kasih."

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