Halal or no Halal, can it be less confusing?

Jakim: Yes, if not we cannot confirm that their meat is halal.
Hotel: Okay, never mind, we will stop selling imported meat and just serve local meat. Would that be okay?
Jakim: Yes, that is okay as long as you can show the halal certificate from the supplier.
Hotel: Okay, we also sell beer. Does the certificate cover this as well?
Jakim: No, beer is haram. We cannot issue a halal certificate for that.
Hotel: But we can sell beer?
Jakim: Yes.
Hotel: But we can’t sell meat unless we can prove it is halal?
Jakim: No.
Hotel: Can we accept credit cards?
Jakim: Yes.
Hotel: But credit cards involve interest. Is that not haram?
Jakim: Interest is haram.
Hotel: So the meat must be halal but you can pay by credit card even though interest is haram?
Jakim: That is correct.
Hotel: And we can employ Malay staff who are Muslims?
Jakim: Yes, you can. In fact, if you have no Malay staff you cannot get a hotel licence under the rules of the New Economic Policy.
Hotel: But our hotel has a bar, disco, karaoke lounge, massage centre and everything that is haram to Muslims. We can, or must, employ Muslims?
Jakim: Yes.
Hotel: But their salaries would come from haram sources.
Jakim: No problem. Even government staff get paid from revenue from banks, finance companies, money-lending, liquor, bars, night clubs, massage parlours, gambling, lotteries, casinos, cigarettes, and so on.
Hotel: That is allowed?
Jakim: Yes, allowed.
Hotel: But aren't all those businesses haram?
Jakim: Yes, they are haram.
Hotel: So banks, finance companies, money-lending, liquor, bars, night clubs, massage parlours, gambling, lotteries, casinos, cigarettes, and so on are allowed but meat that is not halal is not allowed?
Jakim: That is correct. The meat must be halal. And Jakim will not issue a halal certificate unless you can prove it is halal. So you must sponsor ten officers to go overseas for two weeks to visit the factory first before we can issue the halal certificate.
Hotel: Two weeks? Why so long?
Jakim: We need one whole day to visit the factory and the other 13 days for rest after the long journey.
Hotel: I think never mind. We will stop selling imported meat, just sell local meat, and we will continue to sell beer and run our bar, disco, karaoke lounge and massage centre where most of our revenue comes from anyway.

Jakim: No problem. Then you can get a Jakim halal certificate.