Monday, November 14, 2011

Monday Humour

A PRACTICAL EXAMPLE OF HOW THE HUMAN MIND WORKS

In the picture below, we will analyze the perception by different group of people.

- For young men, it's a nice ass. Only the most observant will define this as an ass crossing the street. The really observant will see the thong.

- For older men, it is a respectable woman with a nice ass crossing the street.

- The perverts will imagine her as a naked woman.

- The wise men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer in the face of such beauty and gratitude that it was shared with humanity.

- For half of the women, this is an ordinary woman who should not have left home dressed that way.

- The other half is wondering where she bought that blouse.

- The wise women imagine the misery that this will be at 50.

- Children, the curious, and monks will probably notice a dog driving the taxi..

Don't be alarmed, I didn't see the dog either.


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MY DOCTOR


Let me tell you about my doctor

He's very good!

If you tell him you want a second opinion

He'll go out and come in again


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He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years

Before he realised she was Chinese


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Another time, he gave a patient six months to live

At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill

So, the doctor gave him another six months!


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While he was talking to me, he nurse came in and said,

"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible."

The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."


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Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled,

"Doctor, Doctor, my son just swallowed a roll of film!"

The doctor calmly told him, "Let's wait and see what develops."


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One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem."

The doctor asked, "When did it start?"

The man replied, "When did what start?"


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I remember one time I told my doctor that I had a ringing in my ears.

His advice, "Don't answer it."


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My doctor sure has his share of nut cases

One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell."

The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these.

If they don't work, give me a ring."


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Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards

The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later."


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When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places

He told me to stop going to those places.


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You know, doctors can be so frustrating.

You wait a month and a half for an appointment

Then he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."

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