Monday, September 14, 2009

Monday Humour

NO SPEAK DE ENGLISH

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she overhears one of them say the following. "Emma comes first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time. The lady can't take this any more. "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig!" She retorted indignantly. 'In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives."

"Hey, coola down lady", said the man. "Who talkin' about sex? I'm justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi".

Bet you're going to read this again!

And to my good friend, Antonio - grazie!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, it was revealed on September 10 that Mirzan Mahathir, the eldest son of Dr Mahathir Mohamad, was recently appointed to the board of San Miguel Corp, the biggest food and beverage conglomerate in the Philippines and the owner of San Miguel Brewery Inc.. [A Muslim involved in the beer business? How can that be? It is so so so against the religion, mah!]

Anyway, after the appointment, he decided to make a trip to Hong Kong. In the evening, as part of his market research, he visited a bar to look for himself how the Hongkies consume his product. As he sat at the bar, he ordered a pilsner of San Miguel. The bar tender said, "No problem, boss!" Now you must understand the way the Hongkies speak and understand English. The next thing, Mirzan found a voluptuous girl standing next to him and smiling seductively. He asked the bar tender, "What is this? I ordered a San Miguel beer and you got me this person!" The bar tender quickly apologise, "Sorry boss, I thought you meant 'send me a girl'" [Got it?]

No comments:

Post a Comment