Sunday, October 25, 2009

Monday Humour

Since I shall not be around on Monday, here are a couple of rib-rubbers posted in advance for Monday Humour.


Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.

Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard.

Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.

Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only screwing yourself.

Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of society; but always remember who laid them.

Men play the game. Women know the score..

Whenever you feel low, depressed or useless, remember that you are the same sperm that won a battle against a million others.

Here is the definition of divorce... She gets the ring and the man gets the finger!!!


My name is ALICE , and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his DDS Diploma on the wall, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my High School class some 30-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.

This balding, gray-haired man with deeply-lined face was way way too old to be my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked if him if he had attended Anderson High School.

"Yes, Yes, I Did. I'm a Andersonian," He gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "IN 1970. Why did you ask?"

"You were in my class!", I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat-arsed, grayed-haired, decrepit, son-of-a-bitch asked,


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