Monday, December 28, 2009

Monday Humour

Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping that they'd get annoyed enough to move to another area.

In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Sydney ... there are only 100 nuns there."

Then the second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Tasmania ... there are only 50 nuns living there."

The third guy said, "I want to go to New Zealand ... there are only 25 nuns living there."

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet and calm voice said, "Why don't you go to hell ... there aren't any nuns there!"

Don't mess around with those girls.
A priest dies and is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

God asks him, "Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not."

The guy replies, "I am Pandi, mini cab driver from Chennai."

God consults his ledger, smiles and says to Pandi, "Please take this silken robe and gold scarf and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice, "I am Pope's assistant so and so, Head Priest of the so and so Church for the last 40 years."

God consults his ledger and says to the priest, "Please take this cotton robe and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the agonised priest. "How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving min cab driver is given a silken robe and a golden scarf and me, a priest, who spent his whole life preaching Your Name and goodness has to made do with a cotton robe?"

"Results, my friend, results" shrugs God. "While you preached, people SLEPT, but when he drove his mini cab, people really PRAYED."

It's PERFORMANCE and not POSITION that ultimately counts, meanting the KPI lah!
Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope Died

Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament
4. Pope Died
Lesson Learned? - the next time Charles gets married, someone please warn the

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