OMG, we have been taken over by ALIENS!

Are our ruling politicians extra-terrestrial creatures?

Preposterous as it may seem but I am forced to examine this alarming possibility with all seriousness because of their unhuman-like behaviour over the planned Bersih 2.0 march on July 9.

Let us scrutinise the evidence.

First, these politicians talk strange.

They seem rational one moment and off their rocker the next.

They talk of economic transformation, establishing projects worth billions and billions of ringgit, making Malaysia a high-income country, fostering peace and harmony and moderation and people first programmes.

On and on. That's big brains at work, talking big stuff.

Then, one of these politicians (one known as Hisham) declared T-shirts bearing an advertisement of the Bersih march as illegal because the yet-to-happen march is deemed illegal.

Outlawing a garment?

The politicians' enforcement branch, the polis-ticians, seized the T-shirts and banners that carried similar wording. They were last seen searching painstakingly for cars, buses, anything that they believed could become tools to be used for the march. Even shoes.

The chief of the polis-ticians said the whole point was to prevent a disaster. He foresaw "tension, chaos, the destruction of property, injury and even loss of life" if the march went ahead.

Wow! Sounds like some character from Tom Cruise's futuristic "Minority Report".

Second, they look different.

Many of them appear obese, ugly and to have difficulty shutting their mouths (observe one of their storm-troopers known as Ibrahim). This has led me to speculate that they might be encountering complications adjusting to their human forms.

Finally, they lack the most fundamental human trait that separates humans from other life forms on Earth - the ability to reason.

These politicians' communications branch has ordered its official communicators not to mention the Bersih march or the date when it is to happen.

However, these communicators must still warn the people against demonstrating on the streets.

How that could be done is admittedly beyond the intelligence of humans.

So, therefore, the inevitable conclusion is that these politicians and their assistants must be aliens who come from an advanced civilisation and who have a far superior intelligence.

Good Lord! We have been taken over and are controlled by aliens! Aliens who do not understand or submit to basic human norms. Aliens who have powerful machines and the meanness and the means to create mayhem.

Aliens who may be out to plunder our resources, enslave our people, undermine our institutions, suborn our officials, corrupt our young, ruin our reproduction by making sex obscene.

What must we do? How are we to save ourselves from such pitiless creatures?

Could the solution lie in another Tom Cruise movie, "War of the Worlds", in which powerful aliens invaded Earth, blasting and squashing earthlings with their mean machines?

In the movie, Earth and its inhabitants were saved by the tiny, faceless and fearless fighters of our microscopic domain, members of Earth's low-level life forms that we misguided humans often strive mindlessly to ignore, suppress or destroy.

Will life imitate art and - this time for real - earthlings in Malaysia are saved by the small, the weak, the faceless but fearless members of our planet?