Our PDRM and it's uniform

I should have held back this audio clip and post it under my Monday Humour column, but thought it was too good to defer. Just listen to what good old Uncle Patrick (Teoh) has to say about the police uniform. Never thought of it that way.

Price adjustment? My foot!

I, like many Malaysians, am feeling flabbergasted over the recent price hike announcement. Items such as fuel, sugar and cooking gas have gone up at midnight last night. Look again at the items. They have very little to do with businesses or industries but will in a greater sense, affect every household in the country. In case many of you missed the boat, here is the breakdown of the new prices :

• RON 95 grade petrol - from RM1.80 to RM1.85 per litre

• RON 97 grade petrol - no more subsidies (managed float)

• Diesel - from RM1.70 to RM1.75 per litre

• White refined coarse granulated sugar - from RM1.65 to RM1.90 per kg

• Liquified petroluem gas - from RM1.75 to RM1.85 per kg

For cooking gas: (each cylinder)

• 10kg - from RM17.50 to RM18.50, RM1 hike

• 12kg - from RM21.00 to RM22.20, RM1.20 hike

• 14kg - from RM24.50 to RM25.90, RM1.40 hike

Instead of taking care of the rakyat, UMNO have deemed it fit to splurge themselves using our hard earned money, and now, finally, the chicken have come home to roost. The rakyat have been made to pay for the gross negligence of these leaders.

Instead of taking it out on the rakyat, UMNO leaders should have done the following prior:

1. All ministers and deputy minister to take a pay cut of 50%. They like everyone else will also have to pay rent for their living quarters henceforth.

2. Return the two useless empty buckets to Paris. Although we may not get a full refund, but something is still better than nothing, as a way to fill back our nation's coffers.

3. MACC should act on Toyo fast, find him guilty and have his RM24m mansion "lelong" off. The money can go back to the state coffers to help the destitutes.

4. As part of an austerity drive, all ministers, deputy ministers and government officials will now travel economy class or AirAsia. No more first or business class.

5. The books of PETRONAS must be opened to all to vet. It is our (the rakyat) money and therefore have the right to know how the money is being spent.

6. "Lelong" off the ghost town and buildings of PutraJaya to any foreign investor who in return can turn it into a theme park like Disney Land. The prime minister can move back to the old residence located in the city. If the President of United States can work and stay in a building that is more than two hundred years old, and the prime minister of Great Britain staying and working from a roadside apartment with its origin going back to 1732, I cannot understand why our prime minister needs to stay in a palace?

These are just some of my suggestions. Maybe you readers out there can help to add a few more for our lame brain UMNO leaders to take note.

The price hike is totally UNACCEPTABLE, even though the prime minister may term it as "price adjustment"?

UMNO must bring down the price or at least maintain the status quo. If this does not come about, be prepared to face the wrath of the rakyat come GE13. Don't blame the non-Malays this time. You have yourselves to blame because you brought it upon yourselves.

Anwar has this to say: "Burdening the people on the pretext of reducing deficit and using 'government savings' to fund government excesses must be stopped immediately".

The launch of Friends of Pakatan Rakyat, London - July 4 2010

Welcome speech by the Pro-tem Chairman, Friends of Pakatan Rakyat, London, Brian Morais.

Speech by Raja Petra Kamaruddin (Part 1)

Speech by Raja Petra Kamaruddin (Part 2)

Speech by Dato' Zaid Ibrahim (Part 1)

Speech by Datuk Zaid Ibrahim (Part 2)

Speech by Datuk Zaid Ibrahim (Part 3)

Photographs of the gathering.

The launch of Friends of Pakatan Rakyat, London.

Thought for the day

MACC has set a precedent and avoided one. If MACC could send PI Bala a list of questions related to the Altantuya case, by courier, could they do the same with future witnesses from the opposition parties? Witnesses can now review those questions without any intimidation or harassment, and probably not fear of being thrown out of the building from whichever floor he is on. For some rhyme or reasons, the MACC fellas did not turn up in London to meet PI Bala and his lawyers. For had they done so, then I guess similar treatment should be accorded to witnesses from the opposition parties to conduct the "unnecessary" interviews?

Anwar, the CIA "agent", another letter from John Malott

Minister of Information, Communications, and Culture Rais Yatim owes Anwar Ibrahim, the Malaysian people, and the US government an apology.

Rais recently was named as one of three persons in Malaysia whose job it is to "thwart the dissemination of false news by irresponsible people."

That is indeed a worthy goal. No one want to see false news disseminated.

So one would have hoped that at the first opportunity he had to perform the job he was appointed to do, Rais would ensure that the news he received was true. But that was not to be.

Here's what happened.

On July 11, Utusan Malaysia published an article claiming (not for the first time) that Anwar is a CIA agent and stooge. For its evidence, Utusan quoted a blog in America that no one has ever heard of. Utusan falsely said that it is a “well-known” blog.

Rais didn't check the background of the blog's author, and I doubt he even read the blog before he spoke. Instead, he ran with whatUtusan reported.

If Rais had checked, then after a 15-second Google search, he would have learned that Utusan's "expert" says she has been struck by lightning 10 times - inside her house - and that the Queen of England is engaged in money laundering.

She says she lives on a mountain in New York with her horses and cats and dogs and chickens.

So how could she know anything about Malaysia and who is a CIA agent?

Before Rais disseminated false news from such a person, why didn't he check the truth and save himself from embarrassment? Why didn't he do the job he was recently appointed to do?

But it is not just Rais and Utusan. It amazes me that today people in Malaysia still continue to disseminate the nonsense that "Anwar is a CIA agent" for their own political gain.

I dealt with this issue 10 years ago in an article I wrote forMalaysiakini ('Anwar was never an American spy', Sept 2, 2000) in which I said categorically that Anwar is not and never has been an American agent.

If I was lying 10 years ago, then why couldn't Mahathir - after 22 years in control of the Special Branch - prove me wrong? And why hasn't anyone been able to prove it in the seven years since Mahathir left power? Why can't they prove it today, instead of relying on the ramblings of mountain top bloggers in New York? Why hasn't Anwar ever been arrested on espionage charges?

It's an easy answer - because it is not true. Anwar is not and never has been an American agent.

I say this for the same reason I told then-foreign minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi in 1998: If you say that Anwar is an American agent, you also are saying - falsely - that America is interfering in the internal political affairs of Malaysia, and that is not true.

As I wrote in Malaysiakini a decade ago ( I had then said I went to 'a very senior official in the Malaysian government. I can reveal now that the official was Abdullah), I said that on behalf of my government, Anwar was not a CIA agent.

And if the Malaysian government arrested Anwar and claimed that he was an American agent, we would immediately issue a denial of the strongest order and challenge the Malaysian government to issue any proof to the contrary.

I also bluntly told Abdullah that his government would be embarrassed because they could never offer any proof to the contrary – because it does not exist.

I went on to say that the Malaysian government might have its internal political differences with Anwar, but if it made a false claim against the US, namely, that we have interfered in your internal affairs, that someone in the government is an American agent, then it is involving the US, and we will expose it for the lie that it is.

Today, twelve years after I met with Abdullah, Malaysia still has not offered any proof that Anwar is an American agent - because it is not true.

Finally, there is one more person that Rais Yatim needs to apologise to, and that is Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak. That is because Najib has made a special effort to improve relations with the US. People in both countries think that so far he has succeeded.

So why are you now undercutting your prime minister's efforts and claiming that the American government is interfering in Malaysia's internal affairs and supporting the opposition?

And if the US government is happy with Najib's efforts, then where is the logic in supporting Anwar and the opposition?

[JOHN R MALOTT was the United States ambassador to Malaysia -1998.]

What??? Anwar a CIA agent?????

Lately, Utusan once again started its vicious attacks on Anwar, this time accusing him of being a CIA agent. Gosh, DSAI must surely be the most popular politician in the world, next to the President of the United States to be linked to so many influential people around the globe.

Before this, he was an agent for the Jews, the American administration, IMF (International Monetary Fund), World Bank, etc. Who knows, the next thing they will link him to Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Party, just to show the anti-Jewish side of him. The paranoia in UMNO doesn't seems to end and it's becoming ridiculous with each accusation. If at all DSAI is linked to the CIA, shouldn't he be arrested and charged for treason?

However, John Marlott, the former American Ambassador based in KL, wrote the following:

Utusan calls her (Elaine Meinel Supkis) a prominent blogger, but she really is a kook who should be ignored. She says she won an award for being struck by lightning - indoors - more than anyone. She says the CIA is after her because she exposed their operations. She says she and Anwar have known each other for 12 years, and that she knows his family and he knows her family.

In another posting on a different website, she says the Queen of England engages in money-laundering. When the lawyer for a British investment firm that she was libelling sent a letter to her web service provider, she turned that into "The Queen of England is now after me."

I think we know who we are dealing with here. She sees enemies everywhere, and they are all important people and groups - The Washington Post, the CIA, the Queen of England. A case of when I am pursued by important and powerful people, then I am important and powerful, too.

All in all, she is in very good company with Utusan.

Monday Humour

A Lebanese Salesman

A vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door of house in Beirut and a middle-aged lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the Living Room and poured a bag of cow manur (droppings) on the carpet and eagerly exclaimed: "Madam, if I can't clean up this mess with this new, excellent and powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this shit".

"Do you need chili sauce or ketchup with that?" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"Because power is out - we don't have electricity!" said the lady.

The moral of the story is: Never start a project unless you have all the items required available on hand.

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Barber in NY

There was once a very good barber in NEW YORK , who gave Free Haircuts to everybody who came into his shop to have their haircuts.

One day a florist went to him for a haircut.
After the cut, he wanted to pay the barber, but the barber replied: 'It's alright, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'

The Florist was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, there was a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door

A policeman went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replied: 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'

The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, there was a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

A Malaysian software engineer went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replied: 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'
The Malaysian software engineer was very happy and left..

The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, guess what he found there.............



Can you guess?
Think like a Malaysian.....

A dozen Malaysians waiting for free haircuts!

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A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters.
The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid, they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:
Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,
I am sending you Ba's body since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Gujarat.
Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.
You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts). Please divide these among all of you.
On Ba's feet, you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.
Ba is wearing 6 American T-shirts. The large size is for Mohan.

Just distribute the rest among yourselves.
The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.

The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.
The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews.

Please distribute all these fairly.

Love Smita.
PS : If anything more required,let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well nowadays.

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Why football is played for 45 minutes in each half?

With the World Cup now on its final leg, some basic simple facts that you've just got to know. So, tell me WHY - IS FOOT BALL BEING PLACE FOR 45 MINUTES IN EACH HALF?

Those who thought of this must have lots of time. Why people play football for 45 minutes, not 30 minutes or 1 hour?

Even the sports scientist and some of the senior players could not give the right answer.

In that confusing situation one person came up with a reasonable answer. He said,

"The reason people play the game for 45 minutes is .....

There are 2 teams and there are 11 players in each team.

Each player brings his own "2 balls". So in total there are 44 balls.

There is one ball on the ground itself. Thus the grand total of 45.

Question answered!!!

Some times there is extra time of 2 minutes which is the referee's balls!!! Wakaka!!

Cheers and I hope you guys have not been taking too many MCs during this World Cup season, eh?

Oh, one more thing. What about the linesmen? Or are they lineswomen?