Psychology 101, an anology

 If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the
cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set
of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the
stairs and climb toward the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys
with cold water.

After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result ...
all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when
another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try
to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away.

Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.
The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the
stairs. To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the crap out of
him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to
climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it
with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous
newcomer takes part in the punishment...... with enthusiasm, because
he is now part of the "team".

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by
the fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the
stairs he is attacked.

 

Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they
were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they
are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the
remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water.
Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway
for the banana.

Why, you ask? Because in their minds...that is the way it has
always been!

This, my friends, is how Parliament operates... and this is

why, from time to time: ALL of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME.

 

What are you waiting for? Vote all the monkeys out from Parliament in the coming General Election or any By-Election..........

Monday Humour

AUSTRALIAN TOURISM PROMOTIONS

 

I bet Yen Yen could not have come out with a better one than this.







 

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!

 

Q. Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK ) A: What did your last slave die of?

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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
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Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?

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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.  Milk is illegal.
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Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

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THE MARRIED LIFE


 

They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.

As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.


Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed.

But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed.


Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does! 
     
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person
has, you wish you had ordered that.


Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr : Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr : No, but the thought of long life will never come.


Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!


Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. 
 

What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
'Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything!!'


What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.


When I was young I used to pray for a bike,
then I realized that God doesn't work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.


A little boy went up to his father and asked :
'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?'
His father replied:
'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine.'

Jimmy's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying :
'Jimmy seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.'
The mother wrote back the next day:
'If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his father!'

Eid prayer offered in Sikh temple

The Sikhs of Joshimath, a small town in the state of Uttarakhand, have set an example by allowing the Muslim community to offer prayer at their Gurdwara on the occasion of Eid-ul-Fitr, Indian media reported.

Every year, Muslims congregate at the Gandhi Maidan in the town but this time it was raining heavily and the ground was consequently slushy. Hence, Sardar Buta Singh who is the gurdwara's prabandhak informed that its main hall can be used by the Muslims to offer prayers.

Accepting the large-hearted invitation, many of the town's Muslim residents entered the gurdwara at 9.30 a.m and participated in the Eid namaaz. Subsequently the Sikhs and the Muslims embraced each other.

Some Hindus too joined in the Eid celebrations there.

Afterwards, Sardar Buta Singh said that he had invited the Muslims to the gurdwara since they were not able to offer worship in the open due to the downpour.

Hailing the Gurdwara committee's exemplary humanity, Maulvi Asif thanked it for the solving the problem which the Muslims had been facing. He added that the committee had shown everyone how to respect all religions.

Joshimath, 250 kms away from Rishikesh, is situated near two famous places of worship - Badrinath and Hemkunt Sahib. Millions of Hindus flock to the former all throughout the year while the latter is an important pilgrimage centre of Sikhs.

[Source:  The News]

A wonderful gesture by our Sikh brethren.  However, if the Sikhs, Buddhists or Christians need a place to worship, I wonder whether such an offer would come from our Muslim leaders here.  Food for thought, though.

Our Sunday Girl - SHEILA

They are back!!

This time, the victims are the family of the late M Nagamah, whose body, correction, ashes were taken away by the South Seberang Prai Religious Department as they claimed she was a converted Muslim

Although it was later confirmed that the deceased was indeed a Muslim, but the way the whole matter was handled leaves much to be desired.

Can these Muslim officers from the religious department try to visualise this - you are about to bury one of your kin according to Muslim rites.  In the midst of the family grief, out of the blues comes a group of Hindu religious people demanding that the body be handed over to them because the dead person was a converted Hindu.

How do you think the family will feel? Traumatised would be the word. So, can some of the religious departments, whether it is MAIS, JAIS or SPS, come out with a system where a better approach be made when claiming the body from the grieving family, and to finally lay the body to rest?

Just snatching the body away while the entire family is in grief is most callous and insensitive, to say the least.

Chris Hedges says it all

Christopher Lynn Hedges is an American Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, and war correspondent specializing in American and Middle Easter politics and societies. His most recent book, written with the cartoonist Joe Sacco, is Days of Destruction, Days of Revolt (2012). The book shows the consequences of unregulated capitalism by reporting from "sacrifice zones", the poorest pockets of the United States such as Camden New Jersey and the the coal fields of southern West Virginia "that have been offered up for exploitation in the name of profit".

 

Talam, what Talam?

The following was written by a certain "Moo" which I am happy to reproduce as follows.

I would like to comment on Selangor MCA's recent shiok sendiri (self gratifying) conference that if any party wants to win the vote of the people these days, it should start showing they can do some real work, instead of going on and on like a broken record about how the other party stinks (or stinks more than they do).

Does MCA really think Selangorians are so stupid, or do they just enjoy insulting us? We voted for Pakatan in Selangor, so you are tantamount to saying we are idiots. So far the Selangor government has done far better than any of you Barisan people in the last 50 years.

Harping on Talam will not win you any points. If anything, it makes you look plain stupid. As a taxpayer, I do not care about Talam except for the fact that the state made millions for our coffers. That is good enough for me.

What I do care about is when the state loses money, such as in the past when Talam under BN owed the state millions and it was not recovered, such as when we the taxpayers had to bail out PKFZ's bond holders billions.

And by the way, aren't those all MCA past presidents who are being charged over PKFZ? Have you got a selective memory, Selangor MCA?

You rant on and on about the Talam White Paper, but do us a favour and get us the White Paper on PKFZ's billion ringgit scandal, on the MAS million ringgit bailout using our funds, the lucrative deals given to highway concessionaires, the White Paper on Syabas' failure to manage water resources and losses in contrast to its directors' millions in salaries... the list will go on and on and on.

And the Agriculture and Agro-based Industries Ministry where Chua Tee Yong is deputy minister, what about the RM250 million scandal where there are no cows but plenty of condominiums?

Also what about the auditor-general's report on your own ministry's missing millions for the Selangor padi farmers' incentives?

These are all loss-making ventures, MCA, not Talam. Go put up banners demanding a White Paper on all these, and maybe, just maybe, the Chinese will start listening to you again. Just maybe.

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It is without a doubt that MCA today is already a lost cause, and just to stay relevant (which is fading day by day), they have no choice but to embark on nit-picking sprees.  Chua Tee Yong tries to do a Rafizi act but fails miserably, especially when his early press conferences lack depth and preparations.  Chua Tee Yong might as well give up his crusade against the Selangor state government, if only he knows that no one is listening anymore, or at all.