"I am just very tired" - Namewee

First, it was Ambiga Sreenevasan .  Then followed by Anwar Ibrahim.  Now it's Namewee's turn to have his citizenship revoked, a call made by PERKASA just because they don't agree with his views on the screening of the film "The New Village".  Their reasoning is that Namewee was glorifying communism  [huh?] and for that, he ought to be made persona non grata in this country.  If that is the case, then Khairy Jamaluddin's citizenship should also be revoked since his UMNO Baru Youth movement has close ties with the Communist Youth Movement of China.  Of course, Khairy defended his move by saying that the Communist China is not the same as the Communist China of yesteryears.  If that is the case, how about Tun Abdul Razak for his visit to China in 1974 to set up diplomatic ties.  At the time of the trip, people like Chairman Mao Tse Tung and Premier Chou En Lai were still very much alive and these guys were hard core communists.  Furthermore, who do you think supported the Communist Party of Malaya at the time of the Emergency from 1947 to 1960 in terms of arms and guerrilla warfare?

For the information of many of UMNO Baru's leaders and pro-UMNO Baru groups, the youths of today just want to make a living and to 'glorify' communism is the furthest from their minds. I doubt they even know what communism is all about.  I would have agreed to the ban if the film [for the sake of our sensitive PERKASA and certain UMNO Baru leaders] was an autobiography of Chin Peng or any of the CPM leaders, but about love between two persons caught on the wrong sides of the ideological and political divide?  Come on, open up your minds to see the greater good of the story.

So, Namewee is kicking up a fuss, but can we blame him?  His complain about the 'New Village' was, after all the permits have been obtained, why the sudden ban just because of some people who thought otherwise?  This was the question posed by him on his video "017 Double Standard",

Now about his experience with the Film Censorship Board, here are his grievances, but you will have to excuse the English as it was taken verbatim from the subtitles of his video, "017 Double Standard".

While nobody questioned the lucky headmaster who demanded his students to eat in the toilet.  I've tried so hard to apply funding for my first movie 'Nasi Lemak 2.0'.  After 12 long months, you rejected me.  Simply, because I am Chinese, right?  Then why don't you reject all the Chinese votes?  Since you've rejected to fund my movie, I was forced to raise money by myself.

Still remember what happened during the screening?  A few idiots who claimed they're from the NGO tried to create havoc in the cinema to stop the screening.  And immediately, you called for an emergency meeting to ban the movie.  Apparently, Nasi Lemak 2.0 has not been taken down.  It went successfully to beat the box office.  I'm proud of myself.  Only for you to claim that Nasi Lemak 2.0 was classified as non-local movie and will be charged 20% of tax, how insane is that?  Both Adinah Noor and Afdlin Shauki appeared in the movie and it was classified as non-local movie?

Next, was my second move, 'Hantu Gangster'.  You've filtered and removed 17 scenes and classified it as '13PL'.  What's your problem?  You should have given me a 13PL classified without censorship, or a 'U' (publice) classification since you've censored 17 scenes, but you've done BOTH!  Isn't that unfair?  You claimed 'Hantu Gangster' was sensitive.  What is so sensitive?  My thigh is sensitive and I know your nipples are sensitive too.  We've put in so many efforts and hard work, and now you're targeting my third movie, 'Kara King'

'Kara King' was supposed to be a Chinese New Year movie.  You came up with your own rules on which movie should or should not be released.  Now the movie will not be screened during Chinese New Year.  Are you happy with that?  You better watch out for our Golden Left Foot.  How am I supposed to explain to Ng Man Tiat and Frankie Gan?  Rules and system are created to help the people, but you are manipulating the rules and enjoyed the benefits on your own.  Since the movie won't be shown on Chinese New Year, we've decided to release the movie in August.  Because its festive season and there's a school holiday.  Even though it would not be the same as Chinese New Year, but at least there's Hari Raya.  But you remember what you said?  You said, "NO".  You ordered us to bring backward the date!  Your lame reason was because you need to reserve the slots in August for Malay movies.  No Chinese movie is permitted.  But did you ever realised that Malay movies are given permits to release their movies during Chinese New Year?!

There are Malay actors and crew in our production.  We worked so hard for this movie unlike people like you. We've planned for this movie to be screened together in Thailand, Taiwan, Hong Kong and Singapore, but due to the unfairness in managing the movies and late notifications on our screening date, all our plans in Taiwan, Hong Kong, Thailand and Singapore are ruined because we no longer able to launch the movie at the same time.  Are you satisfied with this now? Are you happy with what you have done?  The last minute notification was so crucial that we're now not able to run our promotion campaign.  No one knows when 'Kara King' will be released.  Only you alone knows.  I was notified a few moments ago.  Without proper promotion who is going to watch my movie?  What should I do?

Coming back to the 'New Village' issue.  Since you've approved the script, why ban it now?  We've submitted the script for approval before shooting.  We're only allowed to shoot if the script is approved.  You better don't play, play.  I've done shooting my fourth movie, "Bangrasia".  You better not fool around with the movie because you've already approved the script and shooting.  I will not tolerate this unfairness because I've followed all the correct procedures.  You should inform me earlier if you wanna fool around and don't tell me the approval was given by another department.  It doesn't make sense.  If you fool me, I will spray you with my pee.  If it happens, than you can lodge a police report on my pee.  It's none of my business and its not my fault but my pee.  My pee is the one attacked you, not me.  Am I right?  You shouldn't say Chinese don't support you, so you would like to take opportunity to revenge.  Where is your evidence showing that Chinese don't support you?

There is an idiot in every single religion.  Everyone is asking me to bang you with my songs.  But I'm sick of writing that all the time plus I don't really have the time to waste right now because 'Kara King' will be released today.  I have to go inform everyone or no one knows.  Since I don't have the time to write a song, I would like to deliver this special song from the movie, 'Kara King'.  If you are not happy with me, please complain on YouTube.  It's YouTube and Facebook's fault, not mine.  You deal with YouTube.  I learned this from you, double standard principles.

JUST BEFORE RETIRING, DR MAHATHIR ADMITTED, SAYING THAT THE CHINESE WERE DISCRIMINATED, AND HOW RIGHT HE WAS!!!!

The foll.owing was what Namewee had to say when interviewed by The Malaysian Insider yesterday.

Uh, uh, I’m so *&%^*%^* tired  yo’all,  Namewee raps Perkasa

For a rapper who is no stranger to controversy, the last thing one expects Namewee to say is he is tired.

“I am just very tired. I have put in so much effort, wasted so much of my time and youth to promote unity through movies, yet they are doing this,” he told The Malaysian Insider, referring to attacks from Umno-backed newspapers and rights groups.

He has made the news over and over again for about the same reasons – he raps about people and things one doesn’t normally expect to turn up in a rap song. And this has incurred the wrath of the authorities from time to time.

But this time, it is different. This time, Namewee is in the sights because he has come out in support of a movie that was slammed by the weekend newspaper Mingguan Malaysia for glorifying communism.

Yesterday, Malay rights group Perkasa even demanded that his citizenship be revoked.

Perkasa deputy president Datuk Abdul Rahman Abu Bakar said it had lodged countless police reports against Namewee but the Attorney-General had done nothing.

Namewee said, “They can call me racist. They can call me anything they want. I don’t have to defend myself or answer to them.”

Namewee was heavily criticised by Mingguan Malaysia columnist Awang Selamat on Sunday, calling the rapper racist, childish and someone who didn’t know his history.

Awang, a pseudonym used by Utusan's editors in the weekly edition, also called him an extremist for speaking out against the decision to halt the screening of the movie "The New Village".

This came after the actor and director had posted a YouTube video called "017 Double Standard", saying that the demand to halt the movie showed double standards.

He said he found it strange that the Film Censorship Board had approved the movie in the first place.

“What is the point of approving the movie only to have it banned later? I don’t know why this is happening. But this is a serious problem,” he said.

“This will only just incur a lot of costs to the movie production.”

Namewee studied mass communications in Taiwan. That is where he first made headlines in 2007, as a foul-mouthed rapper in a music video called I Love My Country Negarakuku. It was criticised for ridiculing the national anthem and the Islamic call for prayer. He was questioned by the police a year later after he returned from Taiwan.

He had another close shave with the law when he posted a video in 2010 containing his trademark vulgarities and obscenities in response to an incident involving a Johor school principal, who allegedly made racist remarks to her pupils. He was probed for sedition over that YouTube video.

In 2011, Namewee again grabbed the headlines after Utusan Malaysia’s writer Fauziah Arof wrote that she would not watch his movie, Nasi Lemak 2.0.

Namewee, in a return to his usual style, responded with a video on YouTube saying that she should not be writing about the movie if she had not watched it.

When asked if he was worried that the police have responded vigorously recently to controversial videos, Namewee said, “I think the police should go catch the real bad guys.” 

Not only is Namewee tired.  I am also tired and so are many Malaysians who are getting fedup with the antics put up by PERKASA and others, and yet PERKASA is mooting the idea of an inter-racial grouping?  Despite all that is happening to the Chinese community, isn't it clear why UMNO Baru lost the Chinese votes or are they so dumb as not to see it at all.

Monday Humour

SHOULD CHILDREN WITNESS CHILD BIRTH?

Due to a power cut, only one paramedic responded to the call.  

The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3 -yr old girl to hold a torch high over her mummy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. 

Very diligently, Kathleen did as she  was asked. 

Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. 

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. 

Connor began to cry. 

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3 -yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. 

Kathleen  quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there  in the first place... smack his arse  again!"


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DATING A CHINESE GIRL

I asked a Chinese girl if she would come out with me for a date and I asked her number so that I could call her.

She got all excited and said: "SEX SEX SEX FREE SEX TONIGHT".

But then my friend told me what she really said was, "6 6 6 3 6 2 9."

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This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale ... it's true.

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching.

Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.

Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying...and wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from thedark and stormy night. They, like John , were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one saidto the other.... Look Paddy....there's that idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it !!!!

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Ole and Lena are sixty-nining when Ole says, "Leena did you know there is
117,000 musk-ox in Alaska?"

Lena says, "No, I didn't, Gee, you¹re smart".

Ole says, "And Lena, did you know there are 482,000 grizzly bears living in
Alaska?" Lena says, "No I didn't. Gee, you¹re smart. Ole says, and Lena did
you know there is over 2,000,000 caribou living in Alaska? "No", says Lena,
"how did you get so smart?" Sort of wondering how this conversation came
about in the middle of their sex play.

Ole says, "Remember last winter when we ran out of toilet paper and we
had to use the pages out of magazines?"

"Yes, I remember", says Lena. Ole says, "Well you still have
page 63 of the National Geographic stuck to your ass."

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Bill was the laziest SOB and he never did a lick of physical work in all
his life. One night he saw his wife carrying a heavy basket of laundry up
the basement stairs.

"Lynn", he shouted, "This has got to stop. For years you have been
carrying the clothing up the stairs in that big heavy basket. Enough!!
Today.not tomorrow, but today, you go in to town and get yourself a
smaller basket and make two trips."

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Lady: Is this my train
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
___________________________________________________________________

Man Quits Smoking Because Of Will Power.
He Quits Drinking Because Of Will Power.
But He Quits Womanizing Because He Has The Will But No Power.
__________________________________________________________________

Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
__________________________________________________________________

Customer: Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter: Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer: No, I can't.
Waiter: Then does it really matter ?

Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."
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Customer: Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

1st thief: Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.

Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
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An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love.

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

_______________________________________________________________________

Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master: Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer: I bet you, it won't.
Post Master: Why not?
Customer: It's addressed to Mumbai.

______________________________________________________________________

Signboard Outside A Prostitute's House:
Married MEN Not Allowed.
We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy...
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'Tell us what you want', Umno Baru Syed Ali AlHabshee tells Chinese

First, listen to this video of an interview with Syed Ali AlHabsee, head of the UMNO Baru Cheras division.

 

 Now, read Kee Thuan Chye's response.

If Umno Cheras division chief Syed Ali Alhabshee thinks he’s reaching out to the Chinese by asking them to tell Umno why they did not support the ruling Barisan Nasional (BN) at the 13^th general election (GE13) and what they are unhappy about, he’s still missing the point. The rejection of BN at GE13 is not about the Chinese. It’s about governance.

Good governance and an end to corruption are among the things every caring and intelligent Malaysian wants. Why does he single out the Chinese?

True, many Chinese care about the country and therefore want it to do well, and they don’t think that under BN rule, it will, so they voted for a change of government. But then so did a few million others comprising Malays, Indians, Kadazans and Ibans who also care about the country and want a better government.

If Syed Ali can grasp this basic idea, he should instead be telling his own party’s leaders that they need to do much, much better to deserve being in government – in fact, to change. And change drastically. He should be telling them to stop playing the same old politics they are still playing, like exploiting the issues of race and religion to divide the people.

He should tell Deputy Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin to take back what he said on July 31 and even apologise for it: “Muslims do not insult the religion of non-Muslims such as Christianity and Hinduism. But non-Muslims are insulting our religion.” That’s the kind of inflammatory remark we can expect from an extremist, not from a deputy prime minister.

Yes, bloggers Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee did upset Muslims with their Ramadhan greeting over a bowl of Bak Kut Teh, but how could Muhyiddin discount Perkasa Vice-President Zulkifli Noordin’s belittling of Hinduism when he expressed scorn at Hindu gods, or Johor school principal Siti Inshah Mansor’s alleged remark in 2010 that the Indians looked like “dogs” when they wore their prayer strings?

It is distorted statements like Muhyiddin’s that polarise the people even more. And as the nation’s number two leader, Muhyiddin should have known better to keep his mouth shut instead of creating further tension on the issue. After all, what purpose does his statement serve? It only serves to revive anti-non-Muslim sentiments at a time when conciliatory measures are greatly needed.

But then we have seen many times before that this is how Umno leaders operate. It is also part and parcel of their desire to assert their supremacy over the populace, especially over those who don’t bend to them. Now, because Umno has won nine parliamentary seats more at GE13 compared to GE12, it is asserting itself even more. It is pandering to right-wing Malay-Muslim sentiments to consolidate the support from its ‘safe deposits’.

This is precisely the sort of thing that those who reject Umno-BN don’t want any more of. So whatever Syed Ali may say about Umno-BN wanting “the Chinese to be with us”, it is mere wishful thinking. If Umno-BN remains as it is and continues to behave the way it does, the Chinese and the others who voted against it will never trust it.

Syed Ali also says Prime Minister Najib Razak has done a lot for the Chinese and he therefore cannot understand why the community didn’t support Najib at GE13. But that’s not the point either.

It’s not about providing for a community – ANY community – but about providing what’s good and right for the country. It’s not about protecting the interests of Muslims or non-Muslims but about maintaining the rule of law and upholding fairness.

The prime minister must see to the needs of all citizens, regardless of race. So it is his duty to cater for the Chinese as much as he caters for the Malays, Indians, Kadazans, Ibans, etc.

The point is, has Najib done much, if anything, to bring about inclusiveness? Is the Government no longer discriminating against non-Malays in the civil service, the police, the armed forces, the universities, etc?

Has he been serious in addressing corruption? (Let’s not mention the “window dressing” he performed in co-opting former Transparency International Malaysia president Paul Low into his Cabinet.) What is the latest on the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission’s investigations into the alleged corruption of Sarawak Chief Minister Taib Mahmud?

Has Najib stopped the practice of cronyism? Are big projects still being handed out through negotiated contracts rather than open tenders? Will he institute reform as of now or will everything have to wait till after the Umno party elections in October so he can try to safeguard his position as Umno president and prime minister?

Syed Ali says Najib is a good prime minister. Does a good prime minister do things by halves? If we look at Najib’s four-year track record, we can see he has characteristically taken only half-measures to address needs and issues. He has not shown the courage to go all the way.

He repealed the Internal Security Act (ISA) – which, incidentally, Syed Ali disagrees with – but then he replaced it with the Security Offences (Special Measures) Act.

He announced last year that he would repeal the Sedition Act, but he also said he would replace it with the National Harmony Act. But now, a year later, no whiff of a draft has appeared. Lately, some of his Umno colleagues have been making noise about retaining the Sedition Act and Najib has been prompted to say that the replacement will retain the spirit and three main principles of the former act. This sounds like any change is going to be an illusion.

As for the other restrictive laws, Najib has not repealed the Printing Presses and Publications Act (PPPA) to free the mass media, or the Universities and University Colleges Act (UUCA) to liberate academia. He has only made a few amendments to them and therefore offered only half-appeasement.

He promised to reform Section 27 of the Police Act, which required police permits for public gatherings, but he brought in the Peaceful Assembly Act which still requires organisers of gatherings to notify the police 10 days ahead. That’s still like asking for a permit. What’s more, he sneaked in prohibitive measures like forbidding street protests and also forbidding gatherings from taking place near a long list of designated places, making the new law even more restrictive than the old one.

After GE13, when the people called for the Election Commission (EC) chairman and his deputy to be sacked and the body to be reconstituted to make it truly independent because it had shown bias towards the ruling party at the elections, he again met them only halfway. He announced that a special committee comprising members of Parliament from BN and the Opposition would be set up to oversee the EC to allay concerns about its partiality.

In view of all these things, if Syed Ali still says Najib is a good prime minister, then he is only a half-good one. And that is not good enough for the Chinese, Malays, Indians, Kadazans and Ibans who voted against his party and coalition.

This message should be quite clear now, and one hopes Syed Ali gets the point. If he still doesn’t and continues to ask the same dumb question, it will only confirm the belief that only a change of government will do. Anything other than that will only be a half-measure.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word - but only for Umno

"When you realise you have made a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm." - Dan Heist

"An apology is a good way to have the last word." - Unknown.

All Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yasin has to say is sorry. But he will not because it is not in the make up of the Umno politician to own up to a mistake, even one as serious as wrongly accusing non-Muslims of being behind a video which insulted Muslims.

The Vatican's representative to Malaysia must apologise. The DAP politician must apologise. The sex bloggers must apologise. The dog trainer must apologise.

But sorry is not the vocabulary of the Umno politician.

And yet the Umno politician tells lies as easily as we breathe and is a creature with an elastic sense of right and wrong. Worse yet, he believes that the Chinese or Indian or kadazandusun or Buddhist or Hindu or Christian or Sikh all have fewer rights than his party man or those of his religion. So the non-Malay and non-Muslim can be insulted, scolded and treated with utter contempt.

The treatment gets worse during Umno election years, where the rest of the country is expected to suck it in and put up with the nonsense and overflow of drivel.

But the treatment has become worse this year because in the minds of the Umno politician, he was betrayed by the non-Malays, especially the Chinese, at the polls.

So it is time to exact some revenge. And this revenge has come in the form of flippantly dismissing the concerns of non-Malays, of sticking the cudgel in the face of anyone who dares challenge the supremacy of Umno.

In the past few days, we have had Noh Omar defend the SK Seri Pristana headmaster who day-by-day looks to be more like a politician than an educationist; Umno politicians downplay the transgression of a teacher who asked non-Malay teachers to go back to China and India; Shafie Apdal talking about bringing back the Internal Security Act and other Umno politicians speaking rabidly on anything which can get them noticed by their party delegates.

But none of the above come close to the deputy prime minister and deputy Umno president.

His silence after accusing non-Muslims of insulting Islam and creating religious tension is a disgrace and sends a powerful signal right across his party: that it is all right to make baseless, reckless and dangerous statements.

On July 30, Muhyiddin blamed non-Muslims for being behind a video clip depicting a dog undergoing ablution similar to Muslims before prayers.

Since then, dog trainer Maznah Mohd Yusof has been arrested and treated like a dangerous criminal for making the clip and posting it on YouTube three years ago. She was released today after two days in remand.

Muhyiddin? He has yet to say sorry.

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And they are still wondering why the support from the rakyat is on the decline, and it's going to get worse in the next GE.  At the rate UMNO Baru is conducting itself, the end does not seem too long way off.  We merely just have to bide our time for the day to come.

Najib, if you still do not know why the support from the Chinese has waned, let Namewee explain it to you

Now, do you understand how pissed off we are with your administration.

Is this why R Sri Sanjeevan was shot?

Monday Humour

CHOICE OF WORDS

Best friends graduating from medical school at the same time decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: Dr Smith and Dr Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors. The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

The docs changed it to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids. This was also not acceptable so they again changed the sign to read Catatonics and High Colonics - no go. Next they tried Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives - thumbs down again.

Then came Minds and Behinds - still no good. Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes - unacceptable again! So they tried Nuts and Butts - no way. Freaks and Cheeks - still no good. Loons and Moons - forget it. Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:

Dr Smith and Dr Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends.

Everybody loved it
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An elderly man in the Atherton Tablelands had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a twenty litre bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said,

'I'm here to feed the crocodile...'

Some old men can still think fast.

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UH OH, OBAMA IS IN A HOT SOUP

 

Barack Obama with Thai Prime Minister, Yingluck Shinawatra

 

"You just wait till we get home, you ........"