Monday, July 4, 2011

Monday Humour

A beggar said to another beggar: "I had a grand dinner yesterday."

"How?": The other beggar asked.

First beggar: Someone gave me a RM100 note yesterday. I went to the
KL Tower RevolvingRestaurant and ordered wine & dinner worth RM 1,000, and enjoyed the dinner. When the bill came, I said, I had no money.

The manager called the policeman, and handed me over to him.

I gave the RM100 note to the police fellow, and he set me free.
Isn't that a wonderful example of financial management?
Best quote of the year by Brazilian Medicine Nobel prize winner oncologist Drauzio Varella:

˜Today we are spending 5 times more money in medications for male virility and
female silicone than in finding a cure for Alzheimer's. In a few years, we will
have old women with big breasts and men with hard penises but they won remember their


The first joke is one to set the tone for the other jokes based on
Sept 11.. as told by a Pakistani..

The Prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the
attack on the Pentagon:

'I'm sorry to hear about the attack.It is a very big tragedy. But in case
you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:

Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my
condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great
bldgs... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with

Bush: What buildings? What people??

Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?

Bush: It's eight in the morning.

Musharraf: Oops.....Will call back in an hour!


Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,
'Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?'

The barman says 'Yep, that's them.' So the guy walks

over and says, 'Hello, what are you guys doing?'

Bush says, 'We're planning world war 3'

The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'

And Vajpayee says, 'Well, we're going to kill 14

million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman.'

And the guy exclaimed, 'A bicycle repairman?!! !'

Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, 'See, I told you no-one would worry about
the 14 million Pakistanis!'


Pakistani on the moon:

Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?

A: ...... Problem Solved!!!

A man is! taking a walk in Central park in New York . Suddenly he sees a
little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.

He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the
dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: 'You are a
hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:

'Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl'.

The man says: 'But I am not a New Yorker!'

Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:

'Brave American saves life of little girl' the policeman answers.

'But I am not an American!' - says the man.
Oh, what are you then?'

The man says: 'I am a Pakistani!'

The next day the newspapers say: 'Extremist kills innocent American dog '

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